[RAJATRAWAT88]

I don't know... I really don't know... I have read many books on break up... also the "magic of making up"... they always says there is always a chance no matter how worst the condition is... I am thinking of one last call to just tell her how beautiful person she is and I really respect her and her decision.

Please reply...

[Andrew916]

Situations like this are always difficult and I'm sorry to say she definitely sounds like she's moved on and is trying to tell you. If she's making up stories of marriage proposals to get you to move on that's pretty drastic. Your best bet if you even want a chance of maintaining a friendship is to maintain no contact and maybe... just maybe, she'll contact you. Believe me it happens. I went through a very similar situation a few years back and though it took probably 5 or 6 months to get beyond I realized that by dwelling and pouring all my being into the situation I did nothing but hurt myself. I let friendships and promising opportunities pass by. Looking back on it, focusing on getting her back was the worst thing I could have done. It takes two to be in a relationship and if she doesn't want the relationship I'm sorry to say it won't happen. When you're in the thick of it, nothing else seems to matter but believe me- down the road it will seem quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. Take this time to explore yourself and reflect ( I know its cheesy but believe me it helps.) On the days when nothing seems to matter, go out and do something you love. It'll help. Keep your chin up! The future is bright!

[RAJATRAWAT88]

THANKS MAN...

But SHE doesn't want to give this relationship a chance. You might believe in it, but she doesn't. It takes two to tango and you are dancing solo.

NC is the only way to go.

CANT I make her believe in this relationship??

[Andrew916]

You can't MAKE anyone do anything especially when it comes to relationships. She has to come around on her own. Like anything in life... if you force it you'll break it :/

[RAJATRAWAT88]

I WANT TO MAKE a last phone call and want to say sorry for what went wrong...

[J_9]

Sorry Raj, I am at work right now. We are all just volunteers here and post in our spare time.

Have you ever heard the ancient Chinese Proverb...

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves. Possessive and controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect.

[Andrew916]

I know you want to man, when I was going through this same situation I wanted to call her every day. Send her a message apoplogizing for everything... but I didn't. And you know what? Things worked out for the better and we're close friends now. But if I kept at her and kept at her all it would have done is drive her farther and farther away. No matter how much you try, all your going to do is push her away and delay any chance of salvaging the relationship. If you want to apologize or show your truly sorry, respect her wishes for space and independence. She'll appreciate it more than you can imagine. She really will. It'll show your maturity and self control.

[RAJATRAWAT88]

I know you want to man, when I was going through this same situation I wanted to call her every day. Send her a message apoplogizing for everything... but I didn't. And you know what? Things worked out for the better and we're close friends now. But if I kept at her and kept at her all it would have done is drive her farther and farther away. No matter how much you try, all your going to do is push her away and delay any chance of salvaging the relationship. If you want to apologize or show your truly sorry, respect her wishes for space and independence. She'll appreciate it more than you can imagine. She really will. It'll show your maturity and self control.

OK...

Your girl contacted you or you did? Because I didn't contact her for a month.. should I contact her now?

[talaniman]

No, you should accept what has happened, and totally leave her alone. Stay No Contact until she contacts you. Now get a life of your own without her, and keep your dignity, and self respect. Yes break ups suck, and its very hard to accept, but that's the good part, you will eventually heal and look back at how devastated you were but have recovered. That's far in the future, and for now you suffer through and keep your chin up like the adult you are, or want to be.

Get it in your head she dumped you and wants nothing to do with you, and leave her alone.

Talaniman Rule-If you can't handle the consequences, don't do the action.

Now if you need closure so bad, and feel it will help if she curses you to leave her alone, for you to get what she has already told you, contact her and have at it. Some people need a brick between the eyes because they don't take subtle hints very well, so if you are like that, have at it, and ignore every ones advice.