[AQGirl]

I've been chatting with an online male "friend" for over a year & a half. I'm in my mid 20s and he's 30.

I added him Facebook because he works in the same field as I do (nothing sexual)... we started with an innocent conversation that eventually turned sexual. It started with private messages, to instant messaging, to web cam sex, to exchanging phone numbers...

I really didn't think this "thing" would last as long as it has. & I'm at a loss as to how it ends and what his intentions are. I never even owned a webcam until we began talking. See, he has a girlfriend that he lives with (which I did not know until recently)... and due to our busy schedules we haven't even been able to "get on cam" for over 7 months!

But still, He'll write me a short message on Facebook once a week, mostly sexual, but sometimes not. We send naughty pics every now and then to each other... he'll text me like, every other wkend after he's been drinking, or if he's been fighting with his girl, or sometimes to say hello. He tells me "our situation" is such a turn on to him. He says it fulfills his "urge to cheat" without "actually cheating"... he's still mentally cheating though, I'm my opinion. But, we've never talked about meeting. And it's not like we know a WHOLE lot about each other...

I don't really want to ask him his intentions, because I don't want to freak him out. I feel a weird connection with him. I don't consider myself "in love" with him by any means... but from what I DO know of him, he's my dream guy! The more I know about him, the more I like... so I try to keep my distance so I don't "fall for him". And the reality is he lives states away anyway, and he's in a relationship. I don't have any intentions of meeting him... however I wouldn't be opposed to the idea if he ever becomes Single and wants to do so...

To sum it all up... do you think he really just enjoys this naughty little thrill and that's it? Or are his intentions more? Like, why am *i* the one he texts with when he's fighting with his girl? He's never met me and those texts are mostly PG. why has he kept contact with me for so long despite the fact we haven't been on cam in months? Why do I get the "hello" texts when he's out with his boys?

Itz just a weird situation that I just sit back in watch, but am very curious about.

Would love some opinions and stories! Please help! What's on this dudes mind?

[pandead]

You don't know what's really going on in his life.
I read a lot of stories here about how women (and men) suffer from their partners "cheating online." If your conversations are mostly sexual, then no, he is not in love with you. And chances are, he won't leave his girlfriend for you.

Stop living a dream. He's probably using you when he gets horny, and what turns him on about "your situation" is nothing but the forbidden, secret part. You said it yourself, he's living states away from you and he's in a relationship. It's a huge red flag right there.

I don't know if he talks about his girlfriend but whatever he says about her, he is still with her so trust me, she can't be that bad. She can even be one of the women who post here in shock and devastated, discovering that their boyfriends are talking to girls online.

I know you want to believe that there's something more but there probably isn't.

He's "virtually" cheating on his girlfriend with you. I don't think anyone's "dream guy" is a cheater. Either you end it before you get hurt, or you accept that it's nothing more than sexual satisfaction (even though it's just virtual) and don't expect more.

[AQGirl]

Yea... I pretty much figured he's just using me, but I wasn't sure because I've never had a "web cam guy". Never been involved in "online cheating". So it's new to me:) although he's great and all... id never ask him to leave his chick for me... I think I just think, what I need to do, is stop the situation before I develop feelings or anything like that, or before it could go further... Thanks so much for your opinion! :) much appreciated!

[excon]

Is My WebCam Guy In Love With Me? It started with private messages, to instant messaging, to web cam sex, to exchanging phone numbers....
Would love some opinions and stories! please help! whats on this dudes mind?!

Hello A:

I don't know. Let's have some webcam sex, and I'll tell you... Ok, I'm joking - or not... Look. He's told you what's going on. You're very convenient and much better than a magazine. Take it for what it is.

excon

[pandead]

Yea... i pretty much figured he's just using me, but i wasnt sure because ive never had a "web cam guy". never been involved in "online cheating". so it's new to me:) although hes great and all... id never ask him to leave his chick for me... i think i just think, what i need to do, is stop the situation before i develop feelings or anything like that, or before it could go further... Thanks so much for your opinion! :) much appreciated!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you. We all need dreams and thinking a miracle could happen; he could leave his girlfriend for you, move to your state and take you out on a romantic date is just human. You seem like a nice girl and you deserve better than an online cheater who will use you as a "magazine" as excon said. "If you think you could develop feelings for him, find someone else who will love you" is what I'm saying :) Hope you find him soon, good luck!

[talaniman]

I agree with both posters before me. Virtual thrills are easy, and without risks, until you make them more than the cheap thrill they are.

Something to consider is that knowing he has a girlfriend, what makes you think you are the only web cam girl he deals with? Very likely he has several. All just as available to him as you are.

So be practical, and careful in the cyber world, as its easy to get fooled about the true nature, and character of the face on the other side of that web cam, no mater how good, and sincere they make themselves seem to be. You still never know what the truth is.

Wonder what his girlfriend thinks of his cyber sex exploits? What would you think if your boyfriend did what he does??

[phantomlrp]

I agree with Tal. In your mind you have a mental fantasy of who he is, what he is, and how he is, but if you did ever met him I would be willing to say he is far from what you think he is. You may think you know him but you really don't.