What does this mean?

chosen1 · Jan 21, 2007, 10:32 PM

I have been broken up for six months now after a 3 yr relationship <live together> and ex(she) tries to still contact me even though I told her that we shouldn't talk anymore. I don't return calls or texts that come about every week or so. I stopped all contact right before christmas. I moving on with life buts it stills gets to me a bit. The last text said you're the only guy I have ever cried myself to sleep over and I miss u. She has a boyfriend and still I get this... is she just trying to keep me around or does it just make her feel good thinking she might be able have me some day? I think she is just looking for a reply out of me to make her think she still has me? What is it??

JoeCanada76 · Jan 21, 2007, 10:51 PM

She wants you around in case it does not work out with her current boyfriend. Stay clear away, and continue your no contact. It is important for her to figure out that your moving on and need to do things for yourself.

Ever here of want her cake and eat it too. That is exactly what she wants.

Or grass is not always greener on the other side.

Hope this helps.

Joe

chosen1 · Jan 21, 2007, 11:04 PM

And if I ever want to get back with her??

chippers · Jan 21, 2007, 11:09 PM

I think she may be having second thoughts about the break up. That she keeps trying to contact you, she might not be so sure about the guy she's with. Its harder for others to accept a breakup. Sometimes we take it as a personal failure in our lives, like what did I do wrong, or what could I have done different to make it work? She might have rushed in to a new relationship too soon after your's had ended when they should have given them self time to get past a break up. People who've been together for a while and when a relationship has ended, they need time to greive, as it's a part of the healing process.
By rushing into another relationship too quickly, they miss that.
There is no easy way or magic potion to get through it except time.
And in time your ex will see you have moved on. I doubt if the break up was any easier for you. You're doing the right thing by not answering her texts or returning her calls. It would only encourage her if you did. It's not easy to handle but I'd suggest you stay the course a little longer. Hopefully she'll see you have moved on.
I hope this helps.

TUNKIESMOM · Jan 21, 2007, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by chosen1

I have been broken up for six months now after a 3 yr relationship <live together> and ex(she) tries to still contact me even though i told her that we shouldnt talk anymore. I dont return calls or texts that come about every week or so. i stopped all contact right before christmas. i movin on with life buts it stills gets to me a bit. The last text said your the only guy i have ever cried my self to sleep over and i miss u. She has a boyfriend and still i get this......is she just trying to keep me around or does it just make her feel good thinking she might be able have me some day? i think she is just looking for a reply out of me to make her think she still has me? What is it????

It sounds to me like she is trying to make you fell bad for not being with her she may still have feeling for you but I think she is just trying to make you feel bad about the both of you not being togather any more

JoeCanada76 · Jan 21, 2007, 11:29 PM

Why would you want to get back together with this person?

chosen1 · Jan 22, 2007, 12:08 AM

I don't know man... guess I haven't found someone else yet... had a good relationship and a dumb break-up. She was all I could ask for and I took it for granted

chuff · Jan 22, 2007, 12:23 AM

Chosen1 she is a user. You are so much better off without her.

I don't know if it's possible but if she isn't going to quit calling you change your number and email address.

If you really want to scare her tell her to quit contacting all together as it makes you uncomfortable and you will be willing to get a restraining order. I bet that would scare her away.

talaniman · Jan 22, 2007, 09:02 AM

Send her a card saying LEAVE ME ALONE, Don't look back and don't answer any of her calls.

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 22, 2007, 09:17 AM

She just wants to know if she still has you and perhaps keep you as plan B. Maybe the grass was/is not so green on the other side after all.

Ditto all the other responses and you have done the right thing.

momincali · Jan 22, 2007, 03:06 PM

I agree with Chuff and Tal, send her a note in the mail telling her to leave you alone or you'll show her boyfriend all of her messages. She's either using you, or her current boyfriend. Either one is not good. She's not good news, she needs to be out of your life.