[ponchic]

My other half is a selfish egotistical knob. I know it sounds harsh but after 9 yrs I think I've earned my opinion trust me, below is just one of zillions of instances where I have wanted to leave.
We have been trying for a baby and recently found out that I don't ovulate :( but its not the end of the world cause there are possible solutions hopefully.
But as soon as he found out he started shouting that its all my fault and that I mustve known this all along and was pretending to him that I can conceive and was just stringing him along. He called me many names and I wanted to leave but didn't we have a history of him cheating, lying, leaving me in the street etc.
But since this one I can hardly look at him. I really don't want him to touch me anymore and I want out I think its like he switched something off and I can't switch it on again. He is carrying on like nothing happened. What would you do?

[NeedKarma]

You think he's a knob and you don't want him to touch you - seems like it's destined for failure anyway.

[ponchic]

Its so sad but you are right, its just so hard after all this time to just accept it.

[ironhide262]

If there were so many things wrong with him why did it take 9 years to come to this realization? Were you just holding out to have a child?

Anyway, it seems like you are finally fed up! If you are not happy then it's time to move on !

[J_9]

what would you do?

What would I do? I'd kick that punk a$$ knob to the curb. You deserve to be treated better than that.

I hope you don't think that having a baby would make it any better. It won't things would only get worse. Tell that idiot to go take a hike. You need to find someone who respects you for who you are.

[ponchic]

Comment on ironhide262's post
I know 9 yrs is a long time and yes I guess I have been desperate to have a baby. But you can't help holding out for things to get better when you love someone. And your right I'm tired of holding out for this personality transplant. Thank you

Comment on J_9's post
Thanks! These are the words I need to hear, for confidence that I'm doing the right thing. :)

[jakester]

ponchic - not surprising but maybe you are not ovulating because of the stress you are feeling in this relationship. Consider the situation as a kind of gift... you are plainly seeing that this man is not right for you and the fact that you are not able to get pregnant by him is a positive.

Not that it is easy but maybe you are able to make a better decision now to leave than before. It won't be easy to leave given all of the history you have together but your history will be far better than your future... think about that.

[talaniman]

You are overdue for a life make over, start with him! I would have kicked him to the curb 8 years and 11 months ago!

[DoulaLC]

Should you leave? You already know the answer.
Move on, so that you can find someone who actually cares about you.

[Jake2008]

You've been with this 'knob' for 9 years now, and have nothing good to say about him. You characterize him as a cheater, liar, verbally abusive, and once left you on the street. This is not new behaviour if I read you right. Why did you stay nine years- did he change recently, or has he always been this way.

And regardless of that, you are trying to have a baby with him? Why? Do you think he will suddenly become a better partner, husband, and a good father? There must be something that keeps you there, to the point of wanting a child with him, and to be firmly tied to him for the next couple of decades, at least. When you say, "since this one", are you saying he's recently had yet another affair?

At some point, he can only be blamed for contributing to, not being 100% responsible for, everything that is wrong in your relationship. You cannot blame him for all of your unhappiness, because you have to know surely, that your unhappiness does not make him better, worse, or continuously responsible for it.

One of our senior experts here, Tal, has a saying at that is, in a nutshell, that you can only beat your head against a brick wall so many times before you realize that the result is always the same.

Why would you stay after what you have described, and allow yourself to keep choosing to be miserable. Why would you choose to allow anybody to treat you this way, and why would you, during the worst of it, choose to have a baby with him if he's such a knob.

[ponchic]

Lol you made me laugh for the first time in ages! Thanks :)

[ponchic]

I love your comment. Thank you