[gvirginia]

Grandparent does not want exboyfriend in her house

[twinkiedooter]

Could you be a little more specific about this? Why would you want your exbf in their house?

[Fr_Chuck]

It is her house and you need to respect that.

Exboy fiend, I guess question is why he is even coming over if he is ex ?

[gvirginia]

I am grandmother. Grandaughter to have baby here and recover, then move to her apartment.While she is here, I don't want ex to hang around in my home. She fears problems with legal action re his visitation if I refuse his visits

[gvirginia]

I am sick and tired of these impregnators who do their thing, then depart then expect to have privileges to 'act' like daddy. The question is, how will this affect my grandaughter if the 'father' takes matter to court, I don't think it will matter but she is afraid it will . So here in Massachusetts, how or what can I expect to happen?
She works for a lawyer who is advising her, and it sounds like it will have an impact if I don't let him come into my house, but I say, he is free to visit outside my home with grandaughter and child after birth happens, go somewhere else. No one is depriving her of visiting him elsewhere, just not in my home, which, by the way, I am allowing her to stay here, have home birth, and help her afterwards. What am I ? A doormat? And does he have some kind of exclusive right to be here when she is having child?

[ScottGem]

Thanks for coming back and providing more details. It would have helped if you had provided those details in your initial post.

First, you DO have a right to control who enters your home. Second, the father has NO rights until the child is born. However, the mother does have the right to control who attends the birth. So we have a conflict here if she has a home birth. You may have to allow him to be present if she desires it.
Third, I don't see how your refusal to allow him in your home affects his rights otherwise. If he goes to court (AFTER the child is born) to assert custody and visitation, the court MIGHT order that you allow him into your home, but I highly doubt it.

So that's the legal. But I have to deal with your obvious anger at the father. Why do you call him the "ex"? Sounds like she continue to have a relationship with him. And it seems like he hasn't "departed". Sounds like he is trying to be a father to his child.

[AK lawyer]

OP clearly has the right to exclude him from her home.

However her attitude may tend to suggest a hostile attitute against him on the part of the mother's family, which could, in turn, affect the outcome of litigation over the father's custody and visitation rights, if it should come to that.

[gvirginia]

OK He walked away from her when he found she was pregnant. He has a new girlfriend. She, my grandaughter says she doesn't want him back but wants her son to know the father. She will be moving out within two months of child birth so she is free to do what she wants then. I feel like I am being used in this situation, and have no rights as to who enters my home. They can have visits elsewhere, but why do I have to let him enter into my home after the way her treated my grandaughter

[AK lawyer]

... but why do I have to let him enter into my home ...

What part of "you don't have to" don't you understand?

[Fr_Chuck]

You are not required to allow him in your home.
He has no right what so ever to visit with your granddaughter, and no rights to visit the baby till the baby is born.

The mother of the child can decide who is at the hospital when the baby is born, and who is allowed to visit in the hospital.

He has no rights to visit either by law unless he goes to court and gets a order for visitation.

If there is trouble between him and granddaughter a third party should be there for visits, the babies mother does not have to be present for him to visit child.

And arrangements for him to visit can be done at many places other than your home.

[ScottGem]

I have to agree with AK's response here. Three people told you that you don't have to allow him in your house. The only issue would be if she has a home birth and SHE wants him there. Even then I think your rights trump hers.

[gvirginia]

Good sensible answer and thank you. But you know how emotions can run the show and that is what I am up against here. I do not want my home to become a hangout out of fear of some court action this young, indecisive man might take.

[gvirginia]

Thank you, all of you who responded wisely and thoughtfully. I messed up with some commenting in this arrangement but all of you were patient with me. I will use this again if I need furthur help. You expertise is greatly appreciated