[Klaipeda]

Hi guys, please advice

At work, my colleague who is a bit superior than me tries often to patronize me. Talks to me in a way like I was just born. Teaches me that I have to stuck the room , when in fact I wasn't at work that day at all. It is strange behavior to me.To others, from her country ( she is not English, nor me either) she is not like that at all. Shall I stand face to face in a quiet room with her and try to clear thing up or just keep quiet?Just do my job and leave the workplace?
I tried once to speak to her and told her that I don't accept that kind of behaviour towards me. She started to bully me, tried to offend, etc. She is the same age as me but she is a bit superior in the position.

Thank you!

[Devorameira]

I'm confused. Is she your boss or just a peer?

You shouldn't have to take that attitude from anyone, but I especially wouldn't take it from a peer.

If she's not your boss, why not discuss her behavior with your boss?

[I wish]

You already tried to confront her, but no luck. I suggest you confront her superior about the issue?

[dontknownuthin]

I recommend that you ignore this person and just do your job. Complaining about interpersonal problems can backfire as you might be perceived as unable to manage relationships in the workplace. A big reason people get promoted is that they are known to "get along with everyone". Don't give up your reputation as being that kind of person for one jerk.

Instead I would just let this person be rude and let other people observe it. Eventually someone will notice and comment to you about it, at which point you can say, "it's not worth getting into an argument at work so I ignore this behavior, but please feel free to mention it to management". It's very different for you to complain about how you are treated compared to a third party saying, "I just want you to know, the way I've observed Mary speaking to Pat is really condescending and rude. Pat is always so nice to Mary so I have no idea why Mary is so rude in return."

Even if this never happens, most office bullies get tired of one person and move on to someone else if they can't get a reaction. So, don't react. If it goes beyond rude to true abuse, you will need to report the situation unfortunately.

[Klaipeda]

The point is that this my colleague is very friendly with other colleagues so for them will be very difficult to judge her as being bossy and unfriendly towards me.

[I wish]

If you can't change jobs or team, then keep trying to work hard at repairing the working relationship. It's not pleasant to walk to work feeling like you need to avoid someone there.

It's been 4-5 months since you posted the question. The problems still persist?