[sh2973]

I'm a guy 37 years old civil engineer. I feel I don't have friends.I only have few friends from university but we rarely communicate and even in occasions they don t call me. I think I don t have an attractive personality to attract friends. I know I don t ve good sense of humor and I'm not conversationalist. Once I feel that the person who I talk is not interested in me I give up talking and give up opening new topics and wait- may be- he starts talking but rarely it happens.
I'm trying to fill my time by any hobbies or activities but I see my colleagues talk together , go for lunch together and I stay alone. It is make me upset. What I can do putting (no friends ) option is available?

[I wish]

Sounds like you want something, but you don't want to put in the effort to make it happen.

Though friendships are usually developed naturally, because once you meet someone who has some common interests, it's easy to find topics to talk about. But you don't seem to want to talk at all.

If you want to make friends, first off, figure out what type of conversations you would like to have with other people. Once you've figured that out, you just need to find people who share similar interests and it will be easier to communicate.

I have a question for you though. Do you actually want to make friends? Or do you only want to make friends because everyone else has friends? Don't force yourself to do something that you don't really want.

[Estakhr]

Try to be different
Handsome well-dressed Rosy
Black coat and white dress is always attractive.
Exercise to be refreshed
Be crazy,girls like this
Be calm and resolute face
...

[joypulv]

There are really only 2 ways to make friends: show genuine interest in someone, and genuine interest in topics you like: books, movies, music, hobbies, ways of thinking. People don't call you? Call them, with an event in mind, or come over and make popcorn and watch TV. When you see them in passing, be glad to see them and say something nice about how they are looking or that you were wondering how they are or how's the job or let's get together or just anything.

[sh2973]

It sounds that u works in psychological field. Your answer is v neat and analyzing. No I need friends to share activities especially travel and go around

[I wish]

Actually I'm not in the psychology field, but I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks!

Aren't there some clubs or volunteer places where the theme is focused on travelling? I believe that there are organizations where people from around the world plan their trip online and then meet up in one spot to travel together. That could be an option.

The reason I brought up volunteering is because there are some organizations who go abroad. Though you might not want to be working abroad, but by volunteering with the organization, you meet people who might have similar interests, i.e. travelling.

These are just examples, but basically, you just need to put yourself in a position to meet people who you know ahead of time will also have that particular interest.

[answerme_tender]

Are there any organized sporting events through your company, or even in your town. Try signing up for those, it helps bonding with co-workers outside of the job place. Even if you're the worst player ever, of course Iam talking from experience it still gets you out. Also I have been advised as the worst player,you help team with your handicap, And I can proudly say all those gutter balls that I expertly throw are highly valued for that!!

[GeordieUK]

I've been in the same position as you. I think I'm a very similar person and have often felt lonely and depressed. My advice is to think about how much you want something to happen. If you really want it, then go out and get it and make that positive change. My mood has affected the way other people see me. When I am in that low state, it shows on my face, and understandably, people don't want to see an unhappy person. Be positive and other people will respond. Open up to someone. If you see your colleagues going out together, jump up and ask if you can come along - and do it with a smile on your face. You have nothing to lose. Alternatively, if you see someone else on their own, ask them if they fancy popping out for lunch. It's incredibly difficult, but you can affect your own situation here.

Be brave my friend.

As another idea, I find that I naturally talk more about things I'm interested in, and if other people are also interested, the conversation flows naturally and easily. Perhaps you can identify some situations where you can encourage that kind of thing?

[liongal]

I understand your plight too. Have you tried networking sites like 'city socialising' check out theor web site.

[Fr_Chuck]

First most people at engineering levels and the such are not "friends" they are co-workers who hang out together at work and maybe lunch. Most are far from friends and when they leave and go to work somewhere else, most relationships end shortly after that.

You have to put an effort into anything and it is up to you what you want in a relationship with people at work.
When was the last time you asked someone to go to lunch with you ?