[sabes43]

My girlfriend and I broke up about 3 or 4 weeks ago. We had been together about 20 months. The main reason why we broke up is because of my failure to integrate her better into my life, like meeting my parents, and more of my friends, etc. I had gotten out of a 5-year relationship previous to this, and it was very ugly. Needless to say, the circumstances I entered my new relationship under were not optimal. My ex was very close with my family and friends, and I felt enormous guilt over how badly it ended. My new girlfriend and I realized that it might be a slower process to try and get that for ourselves, and I have blown it big time by taking too long.

I love her so much. The chemistry we have together is absolutely unbelieveable. She is smart, funny, and I absolutely love spending time with her. We're really similar, we compliment each other well. And she makes me want to be a better person. I somehow have always felt like it would all work out and we would be together and happy. I am terrified that my guilt of my previous breakup and my own procrastination has cost me everything.

She is hurt very deeply because she thinks that this relationship was never important to me. I realize I have made big mistakes but I love this girl with everything I have. I tried a couple grand gestures right after the split, of course that didn't work. I have pledged to make changes. I have tried demanding an answer but she can't give me one now, at least not the one I am looking for. Neither of us is out pursuing anyone else, at least as far as I know. She hasn't said this is IT, but I fear its coming. I have broke off contact and am going to leave it up to her. It's been 4 days since I've heard anything.

Where do I stand? What can I expect? Can you guys root for me?

Thanks

[sabes43]

Anyone?

[Devorameira]

I can see why she's feeling like the outcast here. She's probably feeling like you just never loved her as much as the ex. It's totally up to you to prove that you do.

Is it too late? Maybe. To me it's a big red signal that you weren't committed to the relationship, otherwise you'd have been proud to show her off to your family, especially after all that time.

I think after almost 2 years she wanted a true commitment from you and you just weren't ready to offer it up.

[sabes43]

That could be the case. I would make excuses why I wouldn't show that level of commitment - I procrastinated badly. But I do love her. Dearly. How can I prove this? And I know that things would work if we could give it another crack.

I am trying to lay off for now, but I really don't know what the best approach is here. I hate to sound like a whining fool, but I feel like the love of my life hangs in the balance here.