[Jasonsea212]

Hi, I came on the computer to see if someone could help me, but I feel nothing has helped me, nobody actually cares anymore, I make too many mistakes for anyone to care, this world does not need me anymore, If you want to motivate me then good luck, but somehow I have never felt like this before, I just feel like there is no way forward anymore, espeically since I break everything (even if it is accidental) and they just don't want to talk to me... How do I stop this?

Oh and I have seen that info about me helps, so ill try my best to type a bit about myself.

I am 18, Male, live in probably the dullest town in Britain (Stevenage).

I hope that you can answer my questions, as I feel so scared and don't know what to do anymore.

[mmresd]

You need to find self-love. First, let me start by saying that the world does need you, you are a member of it and me, you, and the rest of the world make a team, a team that is able to accomplish anything we set our mind to. I would like to know a little more information as to what is making you feel unloved? Parents, ex-girlfriend, siblings, family over all? What is it? Also, understand that everyone has problem, I myself have had suicidal though before but they are temporary because I know that there are some good things in the world, if you are one of the people that believe that nothing good will ever happen to them, then you are wrong. Life was given to you by whatever means you believe in, so live it. Enjoy it, cherish it, learn to love failure just as much as accomplishment. Every mistake you make is a lesson of life and every success is a step away from mistake. There is a difference in seeing a cup full and half empty, as you well know. Look at things with a positive mind set, if something bad happens try to find something good from it. If you get heart broken next time it will be easier to get over it, if you get hit now you know how much it hurts, if you hurt yourself now you know that it doesn't fix anything, so don't keep making the mistakes. Someone who is smart has the ability to learn from the mistake he/she makes, so do so. Life is fun, whether bad or good things happens, it is FUN, experiences are priceless and before you "go" try and make it your goal to experience as many things as you can because you only get one shot... so stop being wasteful and start using up your resources regardless of how small or big they are.

Good Luck,

Javi

PS: I sometimes feel the same way you do, in those times of darkness, I remind myself of all the things I CAN do, not think about the things I have failed at. HAVE FUN!

[justcurious55]

Hi. I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm better for listening. So if you feel like talking (or I guess typing), I'm here. There are a lot of great people on this site that I'm sure could help you. I hope you'll stick around for when they're on.

[Jasonsea212]

Thanks for that Javi, but its kind of made me a bit worse, because I can't see anything good in me anymore, I just feel there is nothing out there for me, I try to put up with it when I started feeling like this which was about 13 because my dad tried to kill me and my family once by ramming our house down in his car, now I don't want to grab attention, but I just wanted to say that is what happened and I had to try and move on, but hell, he is sitting here right next to me tonight, and he is not meant to be here with us, but if anyone important finds out about this, we will basically lose the house, our money (we rely on benefits) just everything, it is becoming too much to bear and I can't concentrate on finding something I enjoy anymore, it is so upsetting and scary...

[Jasonsea212]

Thanks you very much for that, it is nice to know I can talk to somebody as I am not a very sociable person, Could you just comfort me for a moment if you can please?

[Wondergirl]

Tell us more about yourself. If you're 18, you're no longer a little kid. You must be in school or just finishing up with a certain level, and certainly have some power and control over your life.

How many sibs do you have, and where are you in the family?

[Jasonsea212]

Sibs? Sorry I don't understand sibs, and I live with mum and my dad with a little brother and a little sister who are 6 and 8, I also have a 21 brother but he actually has his own house and a job, I feel really good for him that he can actually get on with life and enjoy it, whereas every attempt I try (either look in college books for a course or go to every store I see in my town) it all just backfires on me, I think I've tried almost everything but I just can not find my place in this world anymore, and I just come back to the same question again... Why am I in this world, I just can't understand.

[Wondergirl]

Sibs are siblings = brothers and sisters, so thanks for answering that part of my question.

So you just sit home all day with no job or school?

[mmresd]

You cannot possibly find something good with the mentally that you have right now. You must first learn to look at things in a positive light. There is a poem.

"If you think that you are defeated, you are
If you think that you do not dare,
you shall not do it
If you think that you would like to win
But that you cannot, you shall not win
Because in the world you will find that
Success begins with the will of man.
If you think that you will lose,
you have already lost
It's all in the mental state
Because many races have been lost
Before they were run
And many cowards have failed
Before having begun their work
Think big and your deeds shall grow
Think small and you shall remain behind;
You must think well to elevate yourself,
It's all in the mental state.
If you think you are ahead you are
You must think well to elevate yourself
You must be sure of yourself,
Before attempting to win a prize
The battle of life is not always won
By the man who is strongest or quickest,
Because sooner or later the man who
Wins is he who believes he can."
Dr. Christian Barnard


This poem is what I read, and what I use to remind myself that I cannot succeed at something if I am not willing to try. You have problem, and maybe problems that are a lot worse than most people in this world, but you are a part of the world, and have a chance to fix things, if you want. This is a personal choice you must make, read that poem, it describes what you are feeling right now, you feel defeated, being defeated is OK, as long as you try. Don't give up, because I can promise you that your hard work will one day pay off, but for good things to happen you need to visualize them. Close your eyes and imagine how you would want things to be, then see what is missing, and with dedication you will achieve them one day. I hope you get better, it is a phase, and like any other phase you will climb out of it. Things are especially bad when you acknowledge only negative things. For success needs to first be visualized before realized. So start dreaming, and set your goals, and then find a way to reach them, once you do, you will look back a how you are feeling now and will feel so good about yourself that live will be (as it used to be when you were born) LOVED.

Good Luck,

Javi

[Wondergirl]

I have to disappear for a bit to eat supper, so while I am gone, think about more to tell me -- What do you like to do best of all, what are you good at doing, and what are your favorite foods? (I have 2,356 more questions, but I'll stop for now.)

[mmresd]

You can't see goodness if your mind is closed to something being good. It is contradictory... you have to look for it!

[justcurious55]

Maybe you need a change of scenery.what about your older brother? Any chance of you being able to stay with him while you look for a job and maybe get yourself into some classes? It's amazing what a change of scenery can do.

What have you tried so far to move on and deal with some of the stuff you've had to go through? Personally, for me, when I went through a lot of stuff with my family, counseling helped me the most. But I also moved in with relatives. The combination of a new place and a therapist was a huge help.

[slightlyopaque]

I'd like to help you -- it kind of upset me to read your question. I'm in the same position as you at the moment, it'd be nice to talk.. if you need to.