[pinkworrier]

My 'Fiance' and I go back a long way. I am 28, he is 36. We met 10 years ago and had an absolutely fabulous time for about 5 years... and then I became really unhappy after our next door neighbour threatened him after my very kind-hearted fiancé cleaned his roof and some of the muck went in his back garden - crazy, crazy man. I felt really unsafe in the house, my fiancé was working really long hours and I wanted to move (around this time my fiancé was also threatened my some young people near our house, is not a very good area at all). He really wouldn't budge on the moving thing and I got really depressed, subsequently I left him. He didn't stop me or try to persuade me back. A few months went past and we started hanging out together again, having fun and I suggested we give it another go - he didn't want to, but said he still loved me. Anyway, after about a year I decided I had to move on so I applied for a job far away and got it. The day I told him this he decided he wanted to try again, I said I was going but we would stay in touch and see what would happen. I moved away, hated the job and a little while later I returned and moved in with my fiancé and we gave it another go. Everything going OK but we are still living in the same house, same dodgy area - although crazy next door neighbour had moved, yippee. My fiancé proposes, wants to get married a few months away until his family decide they think it is too quick and my fiancé calls the wedding off. I am gutted - obviously and no mention of rearrangements (my fiancé is extremely indecisive). So I am pretty angry, my fiancé and his family have cancelled the wedding, I am still living in a house I hate and generally feeling pretty worthless. But I say this so why haven't I left? I love my fiancé so very much it hurts, ignoring all the big stuff we have great fun together and really enjoy each others company and he can be thoughtful (although never romantic!) and is the kindest man I know. I am not easy at all, I am loud and opinionated and am having a terrible time disguising my disappointment at everything, feeling really down and pointless really. What should I do?

[Jake2008]

I'm not so sure we've gotten past the salad bar here yet.

You were together a long, long time, and then you have trouble with a neighbour, and a few mouthy kids in the area, and you move far away.

Why did you not get an alarm system in the house, and maybe a dog to make you feel safer. Why were those two points you made the deciding factor in ending a 10 year relationship. What went on prior to having those 'reasons'. And then, without any changes made, you moved back a year later to exactly the same situation that caused you to move in the first place.

A 36 year old man who cannot made his own decision to marry you because his family doesn't like the idea, seems really strange as well. Even stranger is the fact that he proposed, and then cancelled. Why does his family have such a big hammer over his head.

When you say that if you ignore 'all the big stuff' you get along great. What is the big stuff, and why is it ignored.

If you could provide some insight into the relationship, it would be very helpful in understanding your situation better.