[LylaPeake]

Okay, so this isn't quite the case yet. And as the months plan out, I will be 15 when my boyfriend turns 18. We have already made plans to withhold from sex until, at the very least, I turn 18. Both of our parents have given their consent, and there is only a three year difference, and we will both be in high school still. Is this legal?

[joypulv]

There are no laws about dating. It is between you and your parents. State laws may apply if someone charges him with statutory rape. Other crimes could be charged if you drink together, drive his car, or engage in other illegal acts.

[rebeccahstrean]

Legally no but I don't really see a problem with it.

[Cat1864]

Lyla, where do you live (state or country)? Different states have different laws.

I haven't found any that prohibit dating, however, the state I live in, North Carolina, does have laws about minors and sexual acts. In other words, holding hands and kissing are generally okay, but touching of genitals (including breasts) or other sexual acts or even showing 'private parts' (either of yours or adult materials) is illegal.

Just a bit of advice on the relationship itself. Communicate with each other and be prepared to compromise. Understand that both of you and the relationship will be going through big changes. If you both stay and open minded and communicate (talk and listen), you may be able to stay together through them.

Do not get so wrapped up in each other that you forget you are individuals. Do things with your own friends and have interests that give you a little time apart. It will help you be more secure in the relationship.

Remember that you are each responsible for your own happiness. Don't expect the other person to be the one 'making' you happy. Be happy in yourself and share that happiness.

Most of all, be understanding of where each of you are in your lives. You will still be in high school when he is out in the world with a job and/or college. It may not seem like a big deal now, but it will add stress to the relationship in its own way. He will be wanting to do things that you may not be able to do. You may want to do things that he will then consider 'too young' for him. This is where the communications and compromise really come in.

Good luck.

[mmresd]

Where you live is important, because in Texas (where I live), you need to be 17 to be able to consent sex or no more than 36 months apart, but it changes from state to state, if you are in the states. But since you have decided not to have sex until you at least turn 18, then this isn't a problem it is not illegal to date anyone as long as a sexual relationship has not been started, so you are not breaking the law.

Good Luck,

Javi

[slapshot_oi]

legally no but I don't really see a problem with it.

Ya it is legal. He can take her out to the movies, dinner, mini-golf, ice cream.. . You know dating. While the gov't has grown bigger than what the authors of the Constitution had originally intended, it's not at that point yet.

I have a question: because she's 15, can he only be arrested for statutory rape if the parents or the girl press charges, or is he automatically considered a threat to society so the state would step in? States do differentiate between infants, toddlers, pre-teens, and teenagers.

[LylaPeake]

I live in Minnesota, so yes, I live in the states. Thank you soooo much for the answers and the advice! :) It truly is greatly appreciated! Any additional information on this is also greatly appreciated, like if you knew the laws that applied for this in Minnesota. Thank you once again!

[Cat1864]

Knowing how to search for information on your state's website can be a very handy skill to have and at 15, you are at a good age to start learning. If you read the statutes (laws), go slow, take them line by line and they will make sense.

Here is a link to your state's website and "Resources on Minnesota Legislative Issues
Legal Age in Minnesota":

Minnesota North Star : Home

Resources on Minnesota Issues: Legal Age in Minnesota

I will say that even if it is 'legal' for you to engage in sexual acts with your boyfriend, you should wait. Take time to get to know and be comfortable with each other. Learn how to have fun and communicate with each other without doing what so many people do and rely on sex as a common language.

Another factor is the possibility of pregnancy is there even with the proper use of birth control. It becomes a case of not taking even a slim chance on bringing a child into the world before you are able to care for the child emotionally, physically and financially.

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your parents if you are discussing dating with them. Keep those lines of communication open too. You don't have to tell them everything, but if they know you are willing to talk to them, they will probably be more understanding when you come home late or other little mishaps occur.

Good luck.

[ScottGem]

As noted, unless you engage in sexual activity, since your parents are agreeable to your relationship, then there is no legal issue.

You don't say how long you have been together, but the difference is less than three years. While this is at the edge for your ages, its not too large a gap.