[tishany]

I met my ex when I was 22.. I'll be 26 in January... He took my virginity and we were very much in love.. he proposed after 10 months of dating and we almost got married a few months after that…we had license and all but his father said that it would basically cause financial troubles if he were to leave home. We decided to hold on off.. a few months later we got into a fight and he took back his ring…said he was tired of me kicking him out…What he means is that I would pack his stuff up when he started to act up. I understood that it was not nice of me and I apologized because it was wrong. Long story short a few months later we were still exclusive according to him and then one day I couldn't reach him and he finally texted me that he was seeing someone else and that we were “done”…not a problem.. I left him alone…2 weeks later he was back at my door begging me to take him back. I did. I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant about 2 weeks later. I told him and he confessed that he was still cheating on me.. he had been for months. He basically abandoned me for the entire pregnancy. He would come back here and there and say lets be together…but I knew he wasn't being true. My son was born February of this year. My ex started coming around more and was being supportive.. we started seeing each other again.. then I found out 4 months ago that he was still seeing the girl. I was livid and let him no that we were over. 2 Weeks ago I took him to court for child support because he wasn't giving me money.. he works off the books and he told his mom to tell me to just take him to court because he doesn't have money. We show up in court and the judge doesn't show so our case was adjourned and a new date set for Jan 6 of 2011. What a waste of time.. so I called him and asked if we could talk…we met up at a coffee shop and talked for about 4 hours. He basically said he and this person didn't work out and he doesn't want to work it out with her. He and I both admitted to still caring for one another, more importantly caring for our son, and if we could work us out it would be great for everyone. However, it would take time and a lot of communication. Am I crazy for trying to work this out? Our friends and family would be shocked and disappointed…mostly on my end, after all the pain he has caused me. How would they react to this? Thanks for listening…I hope I could get some guidance from you guys.

[serenemeadow]

Hey. First of all I'd like to say that I'm much younger than you, so I honestly don't know what the best thing to do is. But I hope you get through this situation. It really sounds painful, and I can't imagine how painful it really is. Take care of your son, if his father wants to be there and take responsibility for him then let him, but don't get too attached to him, since he made you so miserable. What matters most is you and your kid.

[tishany]

Thank you... that is a mature answer and great advice. I guess that's all I can do...

[answerme_tender]

I understand that you want it all to work out, this is the man you love, and the father of your child. But you are now a mother and need to realize that he may never be right man for you, but will still be your child's father. Stop wasting your time by sitting and HOPING and WISHING that this man is going to change and you will all be able to live happily ever after. He has been playing you for so long now, and sorry to say this you have been letting him get by with using you. You let him back every single time he cheates.

I believe you deserve better, but its You that needs to learn this. I think trying to get some counseling would help start building your self-esteem. Some where along the way you have lost this very important factor to your well being.

Remember Tish, that your son will learn how to a woman should be treated not just by him, but most importantly by you his MOM. Give him those strong examples. Good luck