[slickerish]

I'm a strong, intelligent and confident woman... at least that's what I thought. I have been dating a man who has turned my world upside down and has left me penniless. Over the past eight months I have dated Dean, a man who little by little convinced me to quit my job and open an business with him (everything is in my name), has depleted and overdrawn every checking account I have; has maxed out every credit card I own and had me purchase a car I cannot afford. The list of wrongs honestly could go on and on. How and why did I allow it to get this far you ask? I'm not sure. Dean is incredibly persuasive and could sell ice to an eskimo. Whenever I doubted and said enough was enough, he would find a way to lure me back in. He made promises that monies would be repaid. He made promises that the business we had just needed one more job to get us over the hump. I believed him. I needed to believe him, I had nowhere to go and to somehow recoup what I had already lost. There is no cutting of losses and moving on, I have nothing and nowhere to go. I have lost my apt. and now live with him in his forclosed home. Every penny I have has been put into a business that I see no return. My once perfect credit is long history. He's verbally abusive and I walk around on eggshells. I feel hopeless.I don't have family to lean on and he has isolated me from my friends. He has ruined me in every sense. How can I possibly escape my current situation?

[Homegirl 50]

Check out the shelters in your area and Try to get into one. Leave him and get yourself a job and then a lawyer.

[Fr_Chuck]

You move, go to a shelter, call up some old friends and admit your mistake and ask for help. Take or sell what ever you can from the business and don't give him the money,

And just start over, when you get back to work and living on your own, perhaps file bankruptcy latter

[Jake2008]

While everything may have been in your name, was he authorized to empty the accounts? If there is an angle here that he could possibly be working a scam, seeking legal advice and/or possible criminal charges may be an option.

I presume that you need to move on. You have nothing, and you have nothing to lose by the sound of things. As Chuck said, cut your losses, and move on. Bankruptcy is also an option. If you have anything in writing, or any contracts of some sort- even bank records, that tie this man in your life to some responsibility for the debt, again, seek legal help in suing him, and/or preventing him from further damaging your credit, when you do leave.

Call me overly suspicious, but, I smell a rat here. In 8 months he has ruined you, and I would not be surprised if he has also ruined others. You are living in a home that is under foreclosure, but do you have proof of that? Have you seen the paperwork? If he owes you money, and has agreed to pay and hasn't, you could seek, again, counsel, in putting a lien on his property.

Make sure the bank accounts are cancelled. If he's capable of duping you out of everything you own, he is capable of forging your signature or knowing your PIN and withdrawing money without your consent or knowledge.

While you are also suffering emotionally from all of this, and wondering what your next step should be, I urge you very, very strongly, to take what you have left, and get your derrierre into a shelter. They can help, I promise you.

From there, you will qualify for some legal assistance, but please don't put this off. I suspect he figures you will leave, perhaps part of his plan after he's used you up- he'll have to move on to the next victim right?

There is something really shady about this character, and I fear that you have been set up, used and abused. It may be hard now, to understand how this happened, but it is important to protect yourself above all else. Get a plan in place and leave. Let him think you are off somewhere licking your wounds and that you don't have the energy or knowhow to fight back. Then fight back, and make his life as uncomfortable as possile. AND see if you can't recovr some of what you've lost.

Help is available to you, and my advice is to get moving. You will have time to lick your wounds later. For now, you need to take care of yourself by being in a safe place, away from him, and do what you need to do to remove him from your life. And of course, stop him from further damaging your life after you have gone.