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    cutie380's Avatar
    cutie380 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:52 AM
    I lied to my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him now
    I have been in a relationship for almost 2 mnths... nd I seriously love him...
    I did a mistake by lying to him about my past relationships and now that he has got know all things through... he treats me so differently... I am unable to accept these difference b/w both of us... I have said sorry to him for this endless tyms and he is not listening to me now... I AM IN A Great MESS AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE HIM... I KNOW IT IS TOUGH FOR HIM TO ACCEPT WHAT I DID BUT I DID THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD FEEL BAD KNOWING MY PAST...
    PLEASE I NEED A SOLUTION...
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by cutie380 View Post
    I have been in a relationship for almost 2 mnths........nd i seriously love him...
    I did a mistake by lying to him about my past relationships and now dat he has got knw all things through .... he treats me so differently ...... I am unable to accept these difference b/w both of us....... I have said sorry to him for this endless tyms and he is not listening to me now........... I AM IN A GR8 MESS AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE HIM......... I KNOW IT IS TOUGH FOR HIM TO ACCEPT WHAT I DID BUT I DID THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD FEEL BAD KNOWING MY PAST...
    PLEASE I NEED A SOLUTION ......
    Why does he care so much about your past?

    Your past is your past.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Nov 4, 2010, 08:42 AM

    I agree with Enigma, your past is YOUR past. Neither one of you need to provide information about who,what,where in your past unless you are volunteering that information in the first place.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #4

    Nov 4, 2010, 09:13 AM

    What were the lies andy why did you lie?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Nov 4, 2010, 09:17 AM

    Please do not use chat speak. It is against site rules: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.ph...#faq_faq_rules

    Cutie, I think you are rushing into this relationship and it has you doing things you know you shouldn't such as lying about your past. Why do you think you have such strong feelings for someone you think would not accept you as you are? Why did you think you needed to cover-up the past to make yourself more acceptable to him? Would he have become involved with you if you hadn't lied? Did you not think that he would eventually find out the truth?

    Think about this, your past is your past and not any of his business unless you choose to share it. However, your lie is the present for both of you. Now, you won't know if he could ever have accepted the past if you had told him. He doesn't know if he can trust trust other things you have told him or will tell him in the future.

    I think you need to let him go and give yourself time to heal. Do things that help you feel good about yourself and that help you put the past behind you. If you love yourself, then you will be more secure in a relationship with another person. When you are stronger and ready, you will find someone who accepts you for who you are instead of a mask of the person you think you want to be.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Nov 4, 2010, 11:47 AM

    Its none of his business, but you were right,
    BUT I DID THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD FEEL BAD KNOWING MY PAST...
    Your solution, is tell him to get over it and call when he does. This is his problem, and only he can solve it so let him, and stop being upset by this immature excuse of a man.

    If he wanted a virgin he should have said so 2 months ago. That would have been none of his business either.

    Nothing you say, or do except leaving him alone, will make a bit of difference to guys like him, and if you can't do that, you will suffer much more.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #7

    Nov 4, 2010, 12:35 PM

    This is also an opportunity to take a look at the choices you are making in your life. We all make mistakes, and yes even ones that we are ashamed of later down the road. The way to move on from embarrassment or guilt is to try to avoid repeating anything that would make us embarrassed to have to explain to a partner
    cutie380's Avatar
    cutie380 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Nov 5, 2010, 02:08 AM
    Thanks a ton for your answers...
    It really helped me in handling this thng and everything is good now!!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #9

    Nov 5, 2010, 03:07 AM

    I am glad everything is good now. Just remember that saying 'my business, please stay out of it' is better than lying. :)

    Good luck.

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