[Alexdel10]

Hello,

I'm 20 years old and I'm engaged. I will have been engaged for 1 year this Christmas, but I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. I really really love her and try my very very best to keep her happy and let her know how I feel. But I get the feeling she is bored of me lately. She has mentioned it a couple of times in the past that she is sick of me always going on about the same subjects (like football or music) which, I must admit, I do. But I only did it because I thought she liked to know what I'm interested in. I've kind of stopped doing that now, because I realised how annoying it must have been for her. But I think she is still bored of me. I keep trying to do new and refreshing things for her. I am trying to organise a 3 night break to Paris or London for us over Valentines weekend as a surprise. And I keep a scrapbook of things we have done together (like receipts and train tickets and stuff). But everything I do lately seems to draw no emotion from her. And I don't think she finds me sexually attractive any more either. I know for a fact she would never cheat on me or anything like that. And I also know she wouldn't just leave me. But I'm scared she is really unhappy with me. I'm really scared. I don't want her to be unhappy, but I don't want to leave her, ever. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't know who to turn to and talk with. I'm losing this battle with myself. I'm trying to change so she likes me again, but it's hard. It's really hard. And I don't want to lose her. Please someone help me. Please.

[talaniman]

Poor guy, you are working so hard to make her happy, but are you even paying attention so you know what she wants to be happy? Often we think we can make someone happy with treats, and surprises, and then get confused when they are still not happy. Talk to her, and get her opinion of what it takes for her to be happy, and why she isn't. Talk to her so you can both make the right adjustments for you both.

You are both so young, and are both still growing, and learning. Good communications is HOW you learn to work together.

[dhuber]

First, you don't know how she feel until you ask her. You are making a lot of assumptions that may or may not be true. I know it's scary but if you are right you could come up with ways to fix this. If she isn't bored than still do the things you planned. If she is, then explore it with her. All relationships change, but the two of you could find some things to freshen things up. The two of you are way too young to be bored. This is workable if you do this the right way.

The worst possibility is that she is ready to move on. She's not the only girl on the planet and you sound like you give 100%. Any time you waste in a dead end relationship is time youcould be meeting someone equally as enthusiastic.

Continue to try to look for activities that help you try new things together. I think that if you talk to her rather than guess you will a lot further