[debz777]

I am 37,my boyfriend is 36, we always had an active sex life. We have been dated about 3yrs and moved in together a while ago. It seems lately he hasn't wanted sex as much. If I instigate sex he will get in mood but it feels if I didn't start things it wouldn't happen. I have approached him and his response is he is just tired & always has a lot to do & he doesn't crave it as much as I do. I asked him if he is still attracted to me & he says he is,that he loves me & he is happy with me. I wish he was more verbally and physically affectionate with me... am I being too needy and just need to be understanding? He seems to be a good man,helps around the house,hard worker just not the best in the affection dept.

[dhuber]

You got your answers - he just isn't feeling as sexual at the present time. This can happen for a numberof reasons. Maybe he is stressed, has a lot going on at work, or just is in a different place mentally. Don't read so much into this. Relationships can even change. As the relationship progresses, it can become more emotional than sexual. It just happens in the passing of time. The heat is usually gone replaced by a stronger bond. The last possibility is that he with age is becoming less sexual. As we get older, our need for sex changes. Try to focus on activities and interests that bring you closer and aren't based on sex. The world is not a soap opera. Women equate sex with love but really they can stand alone. Try to have quality time that fosters a quality relationship. We will becoming into the holidays and there are things you can do together. If he is a great guy, try to concentrate on that instead of the romance novel stuff

[greeneyedgirl74]

I am going through the same thing. When my boyfriend and I first got together I told him I have a very high sex drive. I told him I used toys a lot, because I wasn't in a relationship at the time. Well when I bring it up about sex he says he works so many hours (@ 60) a week, but still I am tired of pleasing myself. He is a good man but I am in so need of affection.

[Synnen]

Have you EVER worked a 60 hour week?

EVER?

I worked 5- 60 hour weeks in a row, and let me tell you, sex was the LAST thing on MY agenda. There's no way I'd have the energy for that after that long a week.

Tired is tired. If you've got nothing left, you can't give anything. Please give the poor guy a break!

[greeneyedgirl74]

Well yes I do I work @ 60 plus hours a week. Actually we talked tonight about it and he said that he wants to start having date night once a week! So that's awesome. So I promised him I would cut Zumba down to 2 nights a week!