[gaman]

Can you believe I am 25 I have a 5 year old daughter, my father does want me to see my baby;s father, we love each other we are even planning to get married. He says he does not want me to be in a relationship if I am still at his house I also can't move out he says I can only move out after I get married. These days a man can not stay without a woman next to them so definitely if this continues he's going to to cheat and fingers will be pointing at me as he'll say I am the cause. Now I am sitting with a situation of whether to obey my father and forget about my man or else continue be a bad child. Please!! advise good people.

[talaniman]

You also show some bad decision making,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...im-488124.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...lp-484154.html,

And at least your father has your best interest at heart, and maybe that's what's needed. Can't say I wouldn't do the same given your choices. Then we have this GEM in your own words here,

Guys Thank you all for your responses apparently you think this guy is young well let me tell you his 40 and I am 30 he is just a jerk that's it.

Whatever your truth is, we may never know.

[eksutton94]

Talk to your child's father, if you planning on being married than you might as well start looking for an apartment, trailor, etc. Your 25 years old, you're an adult now and there is nothing he can do to control you. If he loves you, all he'll want is for you too be happy, and if your man makes you happy, then be with him, no matter what ANYONE says. If you live to please other people you will never fully enjoy the life you've been given. I wish you and your family the best & hope this was some-what helpful! God Bless!

[Cat1864]

No, I do not believe you are 25 because you told me (as quoted by Tal) that you are 30. If you are not telling us the truth, I can only wonder what your father has heard.

Is the father of your child the same one who hit you and the same one who accused you of cheating?

I think your father is correct to set rules and boundaries for you no matter what your age if you are living under his roof. I have rules for my 24 year old son who still lives at home.

Do you think your father might not be as strict if you weren't acting like a 'bad child'?

[ITstudent2006]

Maybe all the times Mike Tyson hit her she can't remember her age.

Listen here, eksutton is correct on one thing. You are an adult and can act on your own accord, if this means not listening to your father then so be it, but look at it from our perspective. You are possibly willing to move in and marry a man who hits you & accuses you of cheating? Think of your daughter and tell me her best interest is in mind if you move inwith this "jerk".

Sounds like your dad has the right idea.
Does he know of these issues you have with your boyfriend?

[Enigma1999]

Originally Posted by gaman
Guys Thank you all for your responses apparently you think this guy is young well let me tell you his 40 and I am 30 he is just a jerk that's it.


Why are you lying about your age?

I mean why come on here to seek advice but not be straight up with us.

Please don't waste our time...

If you are going to be real with us, then we will be real with you.

[gaman]

Guys I am 30 I made a mistake but that's the truth as you all know in a relationship many problems rise you sort one out another one comes up. I know before I wrote about him beating me and accusing me of cheating, If you love someone you believe in them and you he really changed he is always by my side we enjoy every minute we spend together and now because of a strict parent we can't be together this is the problem I am now facing. Guys your advices mean al ot to me they have really helped me and that's why I log on to the site. Thank You.

[Alty]

If you're 30 than what say does your father have? You're an adult, you don't need his permission to move out, nor do you need his permission to see this man.

I just don't understand how a parent can expect to control his adult daughters life. Just move out, there's nothing he can do to stop you if that's what you want to do.

[J_9]

Guys I am 30 i made a mistake

How did you make a mistake? 25 and 30 are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. If you said 23 and 32, maybe I could believe that.

[gaman]

@J-9 expert a mistake is a mistake. Believe what you want to believe I am 30 there is no reason I can lie about my age. Thank You

[talaniman]

Even if the age thing is a mistake, so is not looking at yourself, and the choices you have made and the situations those choices have led you to. Sure this guy is on his best behavior NOW, he has to be, since you are back home under protection of your father. That's lucky for you, but doesn't change the facts of what he has done, or will do again.

You don't sound like a person who is independent, or makes good choices for yourself, and while I have known people of other cultures, which I assume you are different from American/western culture, at your age, whatever it is, it would seem you would be capable of taking care of yourself, and would not have the need to still be under your fathers protection, so its obviously needed. What's telling is why you would need an older, abusive fellow to take care of you.

But whether you are there by choice, or by need, I think you have to see that your priorities are all screwed up, when the attentions of a very abusive older guy is more important than doing good things for yourself, so your father doesn't have to protect you from YOURSELF.

I think you stay with your father until you get your head straightened out, because the same circumstances that got you where you are now, will happen again, and again, until you finally wake up, and get it.

Listen to your father because it seems your life does depend on it. It's a big red flag to us all when we accept bad abusive behavior, and reward it with continued love, and support. That's like a junkie who keeps doing what bad for them, just for a quick fix of dope that makes him feel good for a while, but wears of and he has to have more.

The more you still have contact with this fellow, the more you will need to. And given his actions, that's plain stupid, and your father knows that.