[Lauraplz]

Hi I am 20 years old three years ago I started to get bad thoughts about me or my love ones dying in an event or by illnesses they can last up to 30 mins and over that time it keeps replaying over and over sometimes the ending changes it alway ends up with someone dying. when am thinking about it I shake my head to make it go away and after it I need to touch wood. during an episode I feel guilty angry upset I sweat my heart rate and breathing speeds up and sometimes I even cry even though I know it not real. Its like watching a bad movie over again that you don't want to see and you can't find a stop button. I was wondering is there anything wrong and anything that can help.

[joypulv]

I think most of us have had worries and images of those we love dying, so it's all a matter of degree, how frequent and how debilitating this is for you. Plus you have physical reactions, not just a daydream or sleeping dream. Are you able to find and afford some therapy nearby? Often there are counselors who are very good who don't have MDs or PhDs, or there are groups, But I would suggest one visit to a psychiatrist first to discuss any possible neurological component. You don't mention whether there have been any events in your life that might have led to such intense worries, or how the rest of your daily life is in terms of coping.

[Lauraplz]

Nope there has been no events in my life that could have triggered it. I just have those thoughts and images and I do worry a lot for example if I do something like cross a road I think of what if I get knock down or check things like doors are locked

[Lauraplz]

The cooker is off, have a got my purse and keys aleast 3 times before am reasured that everythings all right. One thing that annoys me that I check my three year old sons are okay in bed at night aleast 4 before I go to sleep and I don't mean just look

[Lauraplz]

In I check their heart breathing and temp just so I can go to sleep and if I don't do it I feel like I panic

[joypulv]

Hi Lauraplz, it sounds like you would benefit from a therapist who can write prescriptions (some psychologists and social workers are licensed to do so, not just MDs). You describe behavior that sounds like many people who have been diagnosed as obsessive compulsive, and there are new understandings of it all the time. It doesn't have to mean there is any deep underlying emotional problem or that you need years of weekly therapy. If it started right after your sons (twins?) were born, you should mention that to the doctor. If you are worried about insurance coverage or how to pay for it, ask your doctor, your pediatrician, or make some calls around to any area clinics, and they know about coverage or can help with sliding scale payments.

[johndoe2010]

Go see a psychiatrist. There seems to be a bit of OCD in there, but by what you describe there may be a little more than that going on. I'm not trying to give you a cheap and easy answer; it's not bad to talk about what you are going through by any means, but I seriously believe that a good psychiatrist will be able to help you to resolve your issue far better than any one of us here.

[johndoe2010]

I just read your comments for the first poster and I wanted to add, about OCD... It's definitely stressful but definitely not a death-sentence. I have OCD too--have had it off and on since about age 10. It keeps morphing and changing and sometimes it's more annoying and definitely triggered by stress or changes in my life. But the good thing is that is manageable. Everyone's case is a bit different (some are more extreme than others), but it can usually be managed very well either with meds or therapy (sometimes it is possible to get to the root thing that is in-fact causing a fear (or fears) to manifest themselves this way) or a combination of both. Again, just go see a psychiatrist. It will be a big relief once you get help. I wish you the very best, and I really do empathize.