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harrry100 · Oct 25, 2010, 02:22 AM

I spent two nights with a girl I just met on a leadership weekend, we cuddled and kissed (not on lips) the first night and I didn't even know her name. The next day we cuddled and kissed all through the day and at night we just talked and cuddled. I have a girlfriend of two years and 4 months, but I feel like I get treated like s**t. she doesn't get on with my family, she manipulates me, and I'm fed up with it. She texts me at night and says that she'll love me forever, yet I don't feel the same. And we always argue. She never puts smiley faces and is always complaining about something. The girl I just met also has a boyfriend, but I had such a great night with her, and have never spent a night with my girlfriend. I just don't know what to do. Stay with my current girlfriend, be single and get over everyone, or just be here for the other girl.

harrry100 · Oct 25, 2010, 05:32 AM

Also I didn't have to ask her if I could kiss her or cuddle her, she would cuddle me and kiss me, and I did do it too, but it felt right. I wanted to tell her how I felt but didn't want to ruin anything. Is it cheating? Are we unhappy with our current relationship?

mmresd · Oct 25, 2010, 09:56 AM

Yes, you are extremely unhappy with your current relationship, just read what YOU have just wrote out loud! Since you are unhappy then you should probably be thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend, and even though you had this crazed adventure while on a leadership weekend if you feel like you "love" someone more than you 2 year 4 month relationship in only 2 days, then you might have to look for someone that you actually can have a normal and loving relationship with, which is obviously not your current girlfriend. As to the other girl that you met, you cannot go into her life and destroy her own relationship, as much as you have enjoyed her company for a very limited period, you can tell her how you feel about her, but the decision has to come from her. Don't rush her or push her to leave her current boyfriend for you because that is very wrong to do. If you feel like she feels the same way about you as you do her, then hopefully she will break up with her boyfriend and give you a chance, but be prepared for her to see it as what it was "a crazed adventure" and that might be all it will ever be to her. So, let her make her choices about her life and you make your choices about yours.

Good Luck,

Javi

shes_cool · Oct 30, 2010, 04:59 AM

Let the new girl know how you feel, and if she is willing to devote herself to you I suggest go for it dude. I really hope it all works out. And if she denies you, move on to the next fish bowl because life is way to short for young people being unhappy and depressed with their current situations.

Cat1864 · Nov 1, 2010, 11:24 AM

Do not stay in a relationship that is not working for you. If you don't love her, get out and heal then move on.

Do not leave your girlfriend for another female. If you leave, do so because it is best for you.

Do not hop or slide from one relationship into another one. You need to take time to let go of the past and to unpack the baggage from the last relationship. If you don't, you are at risk of piling your baggage up on the new person and expecting her to deal with your issues. Very few people will put up with being the target for misplaced confusion, frustration, anger, etc.

Do not tell this new girl how you feel. She is involved with someone else and is unavailable even if she didn't act like it for two days. Quite frankly, both of you need to think about your actions and the reality of what you were doing instead of making excuses for bad behavior. Don't blame your partners for your actions. Keep this question in mind: How trustworthy is she if she makes out with someone she just met WHILE she is involved with someone else? Would she do the same thing to you? (Would you do the same thing to her if it turns out she isn't as perfect as you think she is right now?)

If she leaves her boyfriend, do not immediately jump into a relationship together. BOTH of you need time to heal. There is no need to create an emotional dust storm because you couldn't wait for the dust to settle.

Do take care of yourself.

Do give yourself the tools you need to heal. Getting involved in things that help you feel better about yourself, getting in touch with friends you haven't seen for awhile, etc. can keep you from dwelling on the past and the break up. Don't use another relationship to get over the past one.