[confused921]

SO me and my hubby have been together since we were 17 and are now about to be 23. About a year and a half into our relationship I found out that he has a thing for woman's clothing, particularly panties. I excepted it and have come to enjoy it. I always supported him in this. I want him to just be himself, and if that means wearing woman's panties then so be it.

Growing up his mom had gay friends and he was raised to be open minded and excepting of people the way they are. So he is by no means homophobic. We ( me and him ) do not have any gay friends.

From the time I found out about his pantie "fetish" we have played around with lots of things sexually. We started playing around with anal toys. It started that he was using them on me, but I just find it to be kind of painfull no matter how careful we are. It then turned to me using them on him. Which I don't mind and all men have a prostate ( gay or straight it feels good). Within the last 2 years or so he started telling me about an experience he had when he was younger with another guy. I am a very open minded person and I do not judge people by their sexual orientation. Lately when I think he's about to want to have sex... it turns out to be me giving him head or stroking him off while I use and anal toy on him. This does not bother. What bothers me is that when ever we do something sexual his eyes are closed and he just talks about these fantasys. It feels like its never just me and him making love. Now he wants to find a bi guy to have some fun with. Which also does not bother me. I want him to be comfortable and be able to share things like this with me. He also does not eat *****, which isn't an abnormal thing some guys just don't like it. But he also doesn't like to "make out" all I ever get is smooches. Neither of these two things would make me think something was up but then we added the whole bi guy thing. Could it be that he is just that. Just a bi guy. Or is he gay? Please help me.

[Cat1864]

I can't tell you what his sexual orientation is. Only he can do that if he knows or has admitted it to himself.

I can suggest that you sit down with him and have an open, non-confrontational discussion about your concerns. If you are worried, despite your assertions to the contrary, you might look into marriage counseling. Sometimes an impartial third party can help a couple see things more clearly. It may also be that he has some issues from the past that he needs to work through, but only he can do that and only IF he recognizes the need.

Both of you need to be open with each other about your concerns, needs and desires. So far from what you have described of your relationship, you are giving a lot more than you are now receiving. It shouldn't be that way if you are working together to build a fully healthy marriage.

Good luck.