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cattybatty555 · Oct 21, 2010, 08:11 PM

So I'm a freshman in college, and I've been dating the same girl for 2 1/2 years. All was well up until school came around. She's a couple years younger than me. So I went off to college and suddenly she wanted her independence. She says she loves me, and that I'm her soulmate although she doesn't want to be together right now, she wants to be herself. She says she doesn't want to rely on me to be happy. I believe I'm pretty much screwed here. I didn't do anything wrong, I was always by her side when she needed me. So I decided to ignore her and she starts texts me saying she misses me and loves me and once I text back she says she just wants to be single. Any advice.

joypulv · Oct 21, 2010, 09:34 PM

The odds of romance continuing after one person goes away to another school are practically nil. I think you answered your own question, but to put it another way, she is still very young so is somewhere between toying with your affections unfairly (BUT she tried to let you go) and being genuinely confused about losing her soul mate. You really, really need to find new friends at college and either do your best to 'be just good friends' and if you can't without pain, be the one to tell her you can't keep up the communication.

cattybatty555 · Oct 22, 2010, 02:01 AM

Well just found out she had sex with another guy this week. But stopped it. And is now begging me to forgive her. :| she said she would change but I don't find that very believable

CarrotTalker · Oct 22, 2010, 03:21 AM

Ah, then her plan must have not worked out too well for her.

Rid her from her life and find someone who wants to be in a committed relationship.

Maybe she had a little "grass is greener" only to find out quickly that it wasn't.

cattybatty555 · Oct 22, 2010, 08:07 AM

All right.. anybody else have imput?

mmresd · Oct 22, 2010, 11:11 AM

Cattybatty,

Dude, I am a junior in college and let me tell you there is a LOT to experience here. She is obviously playing with your emotions and it seems like she has her dirty finger wrapped ALL over you. Have some self-respect for yourself and kick her *** out of your life. A girl that tell you she wants her independence and goes out and bangs someone is not a girl you want in your life. I can only imagine how painful it is to let go a 2 and a half year old relationship and you will hate me for saying this but time WILL heal your pain. Not only that, but dude freshmen in college go out there and get yourself some girls man, have fun, enjoy the new experiences and embrace the college life because you will only get to do it once in your life and it goes by fast and it is meant to be a period of personal growth and the opening of new doors both in your responsible and love life. So ENJOY IT!! Because if you don't you WILL regret it. Have fun and forget about this girl, find one that suits your need and respects your feelings not someone who plays with you like an old toy that she has obviously no respect or appreciation for.

Good Luck,

Javi

talaniman · Oct 22, 2010, 11:59 AM

Do your thing and let her do hers and NOT be an emotion tampon. That means cut the contact and stay out of her business (growing pains) and keep her out of yours.

slapshot_oi · Oct 22, 2010, 12:43 PM

You did the right thing by ignoring her. Keep doing that and have fun at college man!

cattybatty555 · Oct 22, 2010, 12:46 PM

So there's no chance in it working out basically? She won't change?

mmresd · Oct 22, 2010, 01:01 PM

It is possible that she could change but there is nothing you can do to change her. If she does it is a personal choice of her and you will see it immediately, but don't wait around for something you have no control over stop obsessing over her and try to find someone that wants you NOW... not someone that might possible want to get back with you in the future. Do you really think she is thinking about if she should get back to you or not? She is probably going out there and experiencing things so don't lag behind and do the same.

Good Luck,

Javi

cattybatty555 · Oct 22, 2010, 01:06 PM

Javy you're the man. I don't know I feel like I should end it but my heart is saying that shell come around...

talaniman · Oct 22, 2010, 01:08 PM

Not in a week after doing the wild thing with some one else. Are you crazy? Oh, sorry, ALMOST doing the wild thang. She did stop it. So what?? No body changes that fast, so leave her alone to change for herself.

mmresd · Oct 22, 2010, 01:17 PM

Hey man I just got out of a relationship, and although I would love for her to change her mind about her decision, I don't think is worth it to keep sticking around waiting for something that MAY happen. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't share a couple tears with good friends of yours and enjoy yourself. They will be other girls, girls that actually want to be with you and those are the ones you want. Just keep her on standby and be happy if she changes her mind, just make sure to take an objective look at the presented relationship in front of you and see if you would actually like to be with someone that may do this again in the future, and if she doesn't, like I said... ENJOY YOURSELF, no one knows how to make yourself happier that yourself and as soon as your happy you will see that girls will fall on your lap to share that happiness with you and maybe even enhance it.

Good Luck,

Javi

cattybatty555 · Oct 22, 2010, 01:23 PM

So what do I tell her? Im "talking" to her tonight

talaniman · Oct 22, 2010, 02:43 PM

ENJOY YOURSELF, no one knows how to make yourself happier that yourself and as soon as your happy you will see that girls will fall on your lap to share that happiness with you and maybe even enhance it.

Personally I think your stuck in a box of your own making, and letting her be the deciding factor in your own happiness. That's why you don't know what to do, or what to tell her, because your leaving that to her to do for you. That's not what mature guys do. They take full responsibility for their own happiness, and don't leave it in the hands of a confused female who has her first taste of freedom. Who at the first hint of trouble wants to run to you to protect her. If you want her take her, but the consequences of decisions based on feelings and not facts are YOURS and YOURS alone.

Think about it, and act according to your own interests. No you won't get what to say from me, this is for you to figure out. As I said, think about it. Maybe you don't know what to tell her, because there is nothing to talk about.

mmresd · Oct 22, 2010, 03:08 PM

Again bro... you tell her what you feel like telling her... if it was me though it would be something along the lines of: 1. I'm not going to wait for you. 2. Thanks for all the experiences that we've had together. And 3. Since you can't seem to make up your mind about whether you want to be with me now or not just let her know that you will be looking for something more available.

And of course don't give her bullets just integrate it into the conversation somehow... those are ideas and only use them if that is how you are feeling.

Good Luck,

Javi

thegalfrand · Nov 7, 2010, 08:49 PM

Hey guys this is this guys girlfriend of two years. First off, I just want you guys to know we are back together and that things are better than ever between us and I think this is exactly what we needed. Like a fresh start kind of. Second, ALL OF YOU WERE WRONG. And to Javi, you have good advice but You're an IDIOT. Look at your display picture. Your probably some loser who looks to chat rooms for friends. You act like you know about relationships when your only relationship you have probably have had is with your hand. SO thank you to everyone who had faith in us and thank you Javi for being such a loser

LOVE
The girl