[modernromance09]

I am a 20 year old female with a lot of mental issues (extreme anxiety, depression, paranoia... ) and feel I just need someone to talk to to try and get to the bottom of everything and get better but cannot go to the doctor and would prefer anyway to talk to someone anonymously online or something. Are there any sites online that specialize in something like this that are also free?

[Wondergirl]

I hate to tell you this, but talking with someone online about such serious issues will only (barely) slap a band aid on them.

Why are you so reluctant to find a good counselor and meet with him/her in person? Trust me, they've heard everything, so won't be shocked by anything you might say.

If money is a problem, most of them will work out a payment plan based on a sliding scale. I've had clients who paid only $5 a session because they were out of work and had no money, but needed help working through some problems.

[modernromance09]

I'm terrified of people well mainly talking openly about things with them even if I know they are there to help. I feel much more comfortable not being face to face with someone. And I have no job so I wouldn't even be able to pay 5 dollars.

[modernromance09]

Another thing is I'm terrified of showing my emotions and think that with how much I've held in all these years I might just break down in front of them which I really don't want to happen

[Wondergirl]

Another thing is I'm terrified of showing my emotions and think that with how much I've held in all these years I might just break down in front of them which I really don't want to happen.

Actually, breaking down and letting loose of those held-in feelings would be the best thing that could happen to you!

Phone or on-line counseling is just not appropriate for your situation. It won't work, and you won't get any real healing.

So how can I help you from this point? I am more than willing to help, plus I have the credentials. Could I connect you with someone or several possibilities in the area where you live?

[modernromance09]

Well another issue is that I don't drive because I can't afford the insurance so I would have no way of getting anywhere haha but I am currently staying in lockport, Illinois

[Wondergirl]

You're not that far from me. I was reading back into other posts you have made, trying to get a sense of who you are and what your problems might be.

Are you still with your boyfriend? No school or work? How do you get around? Are your parents in the area?

[modernromance09]

Yes I am still with him and no I'm still not working or in school, I have been trying to find work within walking distance though but no luck. My parents don't live too far they live in lemont about 15 minutes away from me

[modernromance09]

Oh and I basically don't go anywhere because of my driving situation.. once in awhile a friend will pick me up but not too often.

[Wondergirl]

I have friends in Bolingbrook/Romeoville and Frankfort, so am familiar with the area. Where did you go to school? You drove then? Would your parents let you continue with that and pay for it? Most schools have distance courses, so, since you're home a lot, take one to try it out? How far did you get with community college, and what were you heading for as a career or major course of studies?

[modernromance09]

I went to College of DuPage in Glen Ellyn. Yes I drove then and I no longer drive because I got my license suspended and my parents were upset about that and said they can barely afford it anyway and I need to start paying on my own. My parents will pay for me to go to school I just have absolutely no way of getting there and they don't want me to take online classes or through the mail because they want me to actually be taught not have to teach myself. Plus I have done an independent study once and my mom would just never leave me alone about it.

[Wondergirl]

I went to College of DuPage in Glen Ellyn.

Are your parents in that suburb? ***ADDED*** Sorry, you said they live in Lemont. You must have taken the demon tollway to get to GE.

Could you get into Lewis and go there?

[modernromance09]

Glen Ellyn is probably about 30 minutes from Lemont. They wouldn't be able to drive me all the time so I would have no choice but to only do independent study classes and teach myself. I'm not even sure they would be willing to drive at all. I can't get into anything other than a community college because I did really badly in high school and have improved in college but not good enough to be able to transfer yet.

[Wondergirl]

And how much do your mental problems conflict with studying and school attendance? I'm guessing you need to get your "issues" under control first before going back to school. And how would working at a job affect you?

How long is your license suspended? When can you drive again?

[Wondergirl]

What do you do all day? Do you have any health insurance coverage?

[modernromance09]

I am able to drive whenever I want now.. but at the moment I can't even afford to get my license back. They are asking for a 70 or 80 something reinstatement fee? Also I have to take a driving class. My mental problems conflict with school a lot. I almost always attend, but with my anxiety it makes it very difficult for me to concentrate as the main thing I'm concentrating on is trying to calm myself down so I can stay in class. Working at a job would also be very difficult for me, I've left several jobs after only a couple of weeks because I let my anxiety take over. Because of that I don't have much job experience, I only have one job that I could put on a resume where I was there for about 7 months.

[Wondergirl]

I am able to drive whenever i want now..but at the moment i can't even afford to get my license back.

I sure hope you aren't driving without a license!!

So, we're back to square one. You need to get the anxiety, etc. stuff under control first before you can think about school or work. And you have no money. Would your parents or boyfriend pay for a counselor? How far away is the nearest Will Co. health department office? There has to be one in Lockport. *** Just checked -- Bolingbrook and Joliet. Grrrr.

[Wondergirl]

How close are you to 121 E 8th St. Lockport? You know what's there, don't you?

[modernromance09]

I don't really do anything.. I listen to music or watch movies.. read random news.. I don't do much at all which I know is only adding to my depression and anxiety. And I think I do but my mom won't take me to the doctor unless I move back there which I'm not so sure I want to do.

[Wondergirl]

How did you get into COD while living with your parents? (different county)

What about moving back in with your parents for a limited time? -- you and I can figure out how long it would be for.

What's at that address I mentioned? Can you walk to it?