[Kristyliz]

I had a baby shower recently and the people invited where my friends and family. After arriving home my husband pointed out that his friends or friends wives were not invited. I had nothing to do with the planning as it was a surprise so I don't know what to tell him. I am curious do his friends and friends wives typically get invited to the shower? When my sister had her shower over 2 years ago it was just her friends and family.

[Enigma1999]

Hello Kristy,

You know, times have really changed... or so I hear. I am a young Mother of two, soon to be three.

It used to be where the Mother, sister, or best friend threw a party for the pregnant woman, and it would be all women.

Now, it's seems to be a little different. With my first pregnancy, I had two baby showers. The first one was my Aunt who threw it, and it was women only.

Then my Mother in law threw a second one, and it was men and women.

Then my second pregnancy (which by the way, I didn't even know a second baby shower happens) my Mother in law invited the whole neighborhood. My husband and I kept taking each other into the other room and asking each other,"who are these people?"

This pregnancy, The women I work with threw me one a few weeks ago. Women only.

So you see, there really is no proper way.

Usually the person who is the planner, does the invitations as well.

I would tell him what you told us, that not only was it planned by some one else, but that it was a surprise. It was beyond your control.

If he feels so strongly about it, then perhaps he throws you another one, and invites his friends and their wives.

[ebaines]

I agree with Enigma1999. The party was the work of whomever arranged it. It would have been nice if they had invited people other than just heir own friends and family, but your husband's friends and/or family can always organize their own shower. It's not unusual to have multiple baby showers. My daughter had three, in 3 different states (one for her school friends, one for our friends and family, and one organized by her in-laws for their friends and family).

However, there is one correction I would make to Enigma's post - it's not appropriate for your husband to organize a shower for the birth of his baby. His friends can certainly do it, or his relatives.