[liljessgurl]

Ok... so I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years about 3 years ago. I found someone else and last year we got married. Everything felt so right. Even though I would question if this was it? If he truly is the ONE? But, all the jitters went away and I married him. I am in love (or so I thought till this weekend). I know my husband loves me and has taught me so much. He tells me everyday how lucky he is to had found his true love. I felt the same way about him but for some reason I never stopped thinking about my ex of 4 years. So, I decided to go on Facebook and I looked up my ex and found him to my surprise. I sent him a mssg just saying to him HI and that I hoped everything was good. We started mssg back and forth and we actually met up. He is living with his current girlfriend but tells me that he never forgot about me and he never stopped thinking about me. I never stopped thinking about him and for some reason all the bad memories never seem to come just all the good times we had. It was so good to see him though after all those years I never knew anything about him till last weekend. He tried to kiss me but I didn't let him I couldn't see myself disrespecting my husband I made a vow and I don't want to break it. But ever since that encounter I can't stop thinking about him. I can't stop thinking what if we were together? I am going crazy because I am questioning my marriage... I am so confused and don't know what to do... Did I make the right decision?

[talaniman]

You made a lousy decision to let your curiosity, and old feelings lead you to contacting the ex.

Make up for your dumb mistake by cutting all contact, and avoid the drama and confusion, that are the consequences of your stupid actions.

Sorry to be harsh, but I would be highly offended if I were your husband, and would lose a lot of love and trust in you. Now the hard part is whether to tell him what a silly azz you have been, and wondering if he will forgive you.

That was not a smart decision you made was it??

[Cat1864]

Like Tal's post this one may seem harsh.

You didn't want to kiss the ex because that would be disrespecting your husband and vows. What did you think contacting and then going to see the ex without your husband's knowledge would be? Did it not occur to you that might be disrespecting your husband and his trust in you?

I would immediately delete him as a friend if you have not done so already. I would remember that he is an ex for a reason. That grass wasn't as green as you are now remembering it to be. I would bet it took even more work to keep in shape than your current marriage does. I think it says a lot about him that he is living with someone and still tried to kiss you. Sounds like it may be a clue as to why you broke up years ago.

I would put my energy back into remembering why I married my husband. If you can forget the bad times with the ex, you can forgive the hard times with your husband especially if you come clean and admit that you are going through a rough patch. Communicate with him and work with him to strengthen your marriage instead of daydreaming about fields that don't belong to you anymore.

[answerme_tender]

Oh, don't worry about it. Just sit down explain to your husband, and tell him that its okay for him to contact his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. Oh, and its okay to actually meet her,and he doesn't need to let you know about the meeting because you totally understand that "what goes around comes back around" rules.

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to answerme_tender again.

[yourfriend84]

I believe it was a lousy thing to do! For one thing is to be curious, but your curiosity shouldn't go as far as you did... I think you should make up your mind first in whether you do love your husband or not, and if you do want to be with him! It is normal to have doubts, but the way you acted got you even more confused.

If you didn't act on his kissing intent then you must care for your husband. I think it is easier to dwell in the past in the "what could have happened" department. Sometimes the present happens so fast and we could get easily off track. So my advice is to stop seeking the ex and cut all contact and try to remmember the reasons of your break up, that sort of things are the ones that made you break up with him... In the other hand think how would your life be without your husband... maybe this isn't simple, but it might be the way you realize things your own.