[David057]

I have been seeing other people but it always somehow comes back to her. I have done everything, but I have not been able to get her out of my mind. I don't know if I should grab coffee with her because I am afraid of the outcome. I don't want my pride to get in the way. I am still in love with her, but she hurt me badly.

[talaniman]

She has you in the friend zone and that's the way she wants it, but since you keep hoping for her to take you back, that's all you can see. NO, she doesn't want you for romance, just as a side diversion when she has time, and as long as you allow yourself to be an option in her life, she will take advantage of that.

Until you cut all contact, and stop half stepping through the healing process, you will never heal, and you will be helpless to move beyond this female.

It's a big red flag that you cannot do what must be done for yourself, and a simple text, and invitation for friend stuff has you wondering yet again what, and why is she doing this to you, and the obvious truth is you let her, because false hope keeps you from just quite simply saying "no, I am to busy for that to happen".

If you could have just done that, she would have left you alone, and you could have been beyond this confusion, but you will get tired of letting others jerk you around for their own agenda, and start protecting yourself the right way.

Till then, keep floundering around when she texts you. Your choice.

[David057]

Hey everyone,
I have asked a few questions over the past year all related to the same girl. A little history, we broke up in January, stopped speaking in April, she contacted me in August, after careful deliberation decided to give it another shot taking it very slowly.

Fast Forward to now. Over the past 3 weeks we have been arguing a little but over the fact that she is speaking with the guy she was hooking up with after we broke up and hiding the fact from me. Even going to the lengths of downright lying about it. We finally sat down and we came clean about it etc. Now we have been working on this for 2 months now. It has been good with a few bumps in the road. But overall we are both happy. She said she loves me and she wants to end up with me etc.

All of a sudden lastnight she said that she doesn't want to be exclusive because she doesn't want to 'miss any opportunities'. I mean am I the only one who sees ridiculousness here? She says she loves me. I think she is mistaking love with something else to be honest.

When I told her lastnight that I couldn't speak with her if this was the case her response was, "if you loved me you'd do anything for me" and that its 'my loss'.
Im not crazy right?

I am so in love with this girl, she is the light of my world. But I would be insane to sit around and twiddle my thumbs while she is hooking up with other people IF the situation arises? Do I break off all contact? Please HELP! Time sensitive!

[talaniman]

No matter how you try and ask this same question, you will get the same answer. Leave her alone!

You have tried your way the last few months, and that hasn't worked for you so re read post #22, and start the NO CONTACT thing.

At some point you have to accept she ain't going to give you what you want, and won't be happy with what she does give you.

Leave her alone.

[David057]

No matter how you try and ask this same question, you will get the same answer. Leave her alone!

You have tried your way the last few months, and that hasn't worked for you so re read post #22, and start the NO CONTACT thing.

At some point you have to accept she ain't gonna give you what you want, and won't be happy with what she does give you.

Leave her alone.

I know that is what you said in comment #22. But we have been physical as well. Its great. But maybe you all are right. Unfortunately it isn't meant to be. I mean talk about a slap in the face. "missed opportunities"! I don't know why I have feelings for this girl still. What is wrong with me!

[talaniman]

Nothings wrong with you. You are just stuck on a female that keeps your nose open with her charms. We all get weak on someone at times.

You just need to get unstuck, and realize what she is doing to you. Keping you stuck through her body.

[answerme_tender]

David,

To make a decision on what is best for YOU! Do you really want nothing more out of life then to sit around waiting for crumbs from this woman. Of course while waiting around for crumbs your probably missing out on a real relationship with a woman who might be the one who completes you.
Of course your EX-girlfriend has been physical with you. Hello are you awake here--even when you going fishing you have to BAIT the hook to caught the fish! She can't use you or continue to abuse the love you have for her, UNLESS you allow it.
Bottom line David what do you want out of life. Good luck

[mystific]

Or alternatively keep making the same mistake.. repeat postings with repeat link backs to previous replies.

Wake up and smell the roses, she's no saint, you've been taken for a ride and no amount of self pity is going to change that fact. Dress it up, colour it a different picture.. come the end of the day she's got you on the hook... until you decide enoughs enough.. enjoy the dangling.

[KyleS28]

David. This is simple. She's easy to figure out. She is building her own confidence by using you and having you around. Don't listen to her, watch her actions. Easiest way to hook her is to turn the tables. Don't go out with your tail between your legs by going nc. Hook up with her, then let her know that there is another girl heavily pursuing you, then tell her that you've decided to leave her for this other girl because you don't settle for someone unsure of their level of commitment.

The key to understand is that you've already lost her. You can fight for her which will only push her away. You can go nc which will just end things. Or you can turn the tables on her and still have a shot with her chasing after you! Your choice.

[KyleS28]

I've been a nice, faithful, honest, great guy and been dumped every time. I've also been absent, distant, mysterious, unpredictable, and cocky and had women begging for my attention and for a second chance. Women know what they want and its not what you are describing.

[kaka67]

youve already lost her

That is the only smart thing that was typed in that ridiculous post :mad:

Love isn't about playing games.

If you want to play these types of games then stay with her. Tricking someone into being with you, how long do you think that's going to last?

She's left you how many times?

That's not love. And if you think it is then you need help.

IMO

ive been a nice, faithful, honest, great guy and been dumped every time. ive also been absent, distant, mysterious, unpredictable, and cocky and had women begging for my attention and for a second chance. women know what they want and its not what you are describing.

The why, if you have all the answers, are you still posting how to get a girl back after being apart 3.5months?