[sangrigoli]

My teen and her 2 friends picked the locked door and used a card to unlock the door to the computer room. My husband and I keep this door locked until we in the house to supervise. My husband called to let me know that he had to leave for a class.
I returned home from work within 30 minutes of his call to me. When I went to the office door to unlock it, something was jammed in the lock and I couldn't get it out. My daughter was standing at the door waiting to get in the room. I asked her, and she told me that she didn't know how it got jammed. She said that it must have been her friends when she had left to go to the bathroom. I called one of her friends that had left 10min after my husband left the house. She said that she didn't do anything. I called and asked the other friend and spoke with her mother. I said that she would not be allowed to come to our house again. Her mother told me that she had been suspended from using the phone and computer at her house and that she was sorry that this had happened.
This morning my husband answered the phone and got our daughter on the phone with the teen that I had spoken to her mother the night before. Both our daughter and her friend said that they all broke into the room together.
We feel betrayed as a family member. She has never lied to this degree and I am wondering if she sided with one of her friends to keep her as a "friend". What course of action to you think we should take. We are very hurt that she showed such poor judement.:confused:

[wizzkid89]

Suspending her from the computer room most likely is the course of action I would suggest you to follow. You probably do feel betrayed and for a good reason, but remember peer pressure can be really really influential. I am sure you and your husband have both felt it, so don't go to harsh on her. It's seems like the best action would be to take away the one thing she wanted to get, but all is not lost in your scenario. It's very noble for her to stick up for her friends, and to me that's admirable, I understand the circumstances are not exactly what you would prefer, but know that she obviously has values and principles that are few and far between in this world, and it's something you should keep in mind...

[Nosnosna]

Ground her from the computer... how long is up to you, but one thing that's worked for my older niece is to ground her for a certain amount of time (she's currently grounded for four months), and take time off the end as she stays out of trouble. Don't forget to remind her why she's not allowed on the computer unsupervised.

You may also want to assign extra chores to earn money to pay for any repairs to the lock.