[beanie789]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now and having sexsince a few week after we got together. I have started not wanting to have sex because 75% of the time he seems to go soft and can't finish. He says he is tired, or worrying about something to do with work, but he is always the one that initiates sex. We are both attractive 20 something's, so we should be in our prime but it is just not working!
Is there something I am doing wrong or could he just be tired like he always says? We have a wonderful relationship other than this! Help!

[CravenMorhead]

Stress and exhaustion are major libido killers.

Try earlier in the day, or at different times/places. If that isn't working you might want to get him to go see a doctor about it.

He also needs to work on compartmentalization of his problems and worries. Leave work at work if he can. I am a programmer, and if I get a bug then it will bug me until I fix it. The last think I want is to think about post stack kirshkoff migrations while banging the old lady. It will make me go soft too.

[soygatita]

Tell him no once in awhile. Be bored or change the subject with energy. Boys love a challenge.


(this doesn't mean it's you doing something wrong, he could very well be telling the truth... just something simple you can do to make yourself irresistible ---mix it up!! )

[Clemintine]

Reminds me of exactly how the beginning of a 1 and a 1/2 year drought started for me and my boyfriend.
I'm going to assume you feel like this:
It's horrible, it feels like it's something to do with us. We're not good enough, we feel rejected and ugly, used. Sorry for assuming stuff, but It's something both of you need to talk about if you do feel this way...
Please talk with him early about this, he might be saying those things and if you press him for a conversation about it he might get defensive... If he does let him know you care and are there for him, but you need him to know how much it's been affecting you. Tell him you don't feel into it as much anymore because you feel unwanted... but make sure he knows you love him and are just confused, you don't want things to get any more damaged and either one of you starting to resent the other. Ask him what can you do to make it easier? Change the time you two have sex is a good call, and what can he do to help this along too? Does he want you to start instigating sex? When you talk to him about your worries ask him if you did start initiating sex would it help things out for him? Tell him it would make it worse if he rejected you and said no when you were asking for something you need from him, so to be honest about if he would really like that or not.
Set up a romantic getaway.. Or maybe he needs to stop masturbating (if he still does) for a week or so and see if that helps to save up some sexual energy for the bedroom?
I like the idea about saying no once in awhile, and making it a challenge for him haha
Though I worry if he's too tired most the time, would he even be too tired for the chase? =/
Good luck with this, don't let it sit until you really feel hurt by this and it ends badly because you or he's grown resentful... though be tactful too and not very pushy about this, as your in only a few months you don't want to push him away and out.
I wish you the best and that any of this helps!