[madrigal1]

I am so shocked that my son lied to my face. My husband was missing 20 dollars and so he asked us ( my 2 boys and I ) if we had taken the money and of course we said no. Well my first thought was to check my sons wallet. A day before my son had asked me for money because his friend was coming over and he wanted to treat him mcdonalds. And this morning when my husband and I found the money in his wallet he still denied it he had taken the money. The 20 dollar bill we found in his wallet supposley he was holding for his friend Jose. But I told my son I was going to verify it with Jose. He handed me the phone and I when I asked Jose my heart felt to the ground and I don't know what kind of punishment I should give him. My son is 11 and does not have a cell phone.

[Eileen G]

Take a breath. Yes, it's awful knowing your son stole and lied about it, but it's not unusual. It's pretty much a rite of passage for children that age. Maybe they are trying to see if they'll get away with it or something.

One of mine stole 300 euro at that age, and managed to come up with a totally reasonable explanation for having that much money in her bag.

Now, it's up to you to handle it in the best way. Take it seriously, but don't over-react. I would try to make the punishment fit the crime in some way. He stole money, so deprive him of something that costs money? McDonalds, perhaps? Or get him to do work to pay off the stolen money. And explain that since he lied, and lied convincingly, you are now going to have to double check everything he tells you for a long time, as he has proved he is able to lie to you.

[answerme_tender]

I agree with Eileen. You are not the first parent to go through this and won't be the last. My son pulled this when he was around 12yrs. Went into my bedroom and stole money from top of dresser. When I asked were the money was. I said was never in my room and has no idea, now mind you he was only one of the two kids that was home. So finally got him to fess up. Reason he gave was that he just wasn't getting enough allowance, and I should take into consideration about giving him a raise! We sat down and went over how I wasn't mad, more disappointed that my own son would steal from me, that I couldn't trust him. I made him pay for a lock to be put on my bedroom door. I also made sure he noticed that I locked that door everyday for a good 6months.
I think knowing how much he had hurt my feelings and having to hear me lock that bedroom door got to him.

[answerme_tender]

Sorry the I should be He.

[Fr_Chuck]

Kids do this, almost all of them, I may have sneaked a 20 OK back then maybe a 5 from mom or dad every once in while as a child.

Of course Dad had his special way of making sure I could not sit down for a week when he found out,

But you ground him, take away benefits he has, computer use outside of homework, Ipods or other music players.
And make sure he has work found for him. Around the farm it was driving fence post, for me, I had the best and most often painted basement in town.

[madrigal1]

Thanks a bunch! I have been thinking about this all day but I can now say I feel much better after reading your comments. My husband and I will be getting together to decide what his punishment will be. Again thanks for taking time out of your busy schedules to answer my question. Much Love NANCY~