[daphinus]

Not seen daughter for 35 yrs, tried to contact recently but refused
To speak to me

[joypulv]

Is there a question? You seem to have a little difficulty even writing, possibly communicating, saying how you feel, what the situation was, how old she was, how bitter the divorce was, why you never asserted any parental rights for all those years?

[Fr_Chuck]

Why did you not see child since divorce ?

What were you expecting after 35 years ?

How old is daughter now ( and/or was when you last saw her)

[daphinus]

I was divoirced in 1974 after 5 years, had a lovely daughter of 3. I divorced for her adultery but agreed to adoption for sake of child. I felt it "unfair" to have 2 fathers so kept away. I recently cannot get her out of my mind and contacted my ex wife who tried to persuade my daughter (39) to communicate with me but she told me by mail that she found it too difficult emotionally and not to make further contact, albeit she said it was nothing against me personally. Is this normal

[joypulv]

It is very, very normal. Sit down with yourself and try to imagine your father leaving you (regardless of the reason) when you were 3, and then deciding he 'cannot get you out of his mind' 35 years later?? I'd be so mad I wouldn't know where to start, it would wreck my routine, the life I had surrounded myself with, my comforts and loves and friendships. You can't just breeze back into someone's life as you please.
On the other hand, there are many cases where quiet and unobtrusive one sided contact eventually results in a reply, even years after you give up. How? Letters, sent by mail. No gifts, no calls, no emails, no texting, no flowers. You have a heck of a lot of explaining to do. Your wife may have committed adultery but you are the one who shrugged off your daughter for a ridiculous amount of time.

[daphinus]

In 1974 I felt it was fairer to allow my ex wife to adopt daughter (3 yrs old), she remarried and I met another partner whi I later married. Both my ex wife and I have stayed with our partners for 35 years but had no contact till Feb this year when I went through a medical trauma and every waking hour was taken with thinking (albeit I have a 29 yr old son who has learning difficulties). I made contact with ex wife who actually tried to persuade my daughter to make contact. She asked me to write a letter, to which she replied however I am now in the situation described,

Thank you so much for your answers and I would be grateful if there is anything else I should be aware of, bless you