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    Mraznessss's Avatar
    Mraznessss Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 10, 2010, 07:49 PM
    What should I do?
    So my girlfriend of 2 and a half years called me last night and we got into an argument.. She put down my family and me so after awhile of listening to her put me down I lashed out.. I said some things I regret and have since apologized for.. like talking about her father who is dying from cancer.. She doesn't want to accept my apology and told me that she doesn't want anything to do with me.. She said if I call or text her she will put a restraining order on me.. Feeling like I really don't want that to happen to me I haven't called or text her all day.. I really love her and want her to come back to me and forgive me.. What should I do?
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Oct 10, 2010, 08:23 PM

    Looks like you both can't handle conflicts very well. Putting down each others and your respective families solves nothing and only hurts feelings.

    If you apologized sincerely and she won't accept you apologies, then there is nothing else you can possibly do. Respect her wishes and leave her alone.

    Maybe she will reach out for you later on, when she cooled off, but for now you have to let it go.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 10, 2010, 08:36 PM
    That's unfortunately what happens, when two adults, don't fight fair. Eventually, anger, defensiveness, pride, and one upmanship takes over, and the argment turns into winning at all costs.

    You went too far. You could have stopped yourself by hanging up the phone, at any time. You could have taken the high road and not engaged in any mud slinging in retaliation to her hurtful comments. You could have addressed issues before anything got to the boiling point. By the time the words came out, you were only adding a gallon of petrol to an a fire already established. It did no good to say what you did, and because you 'won', you lost it all.

    I am not condoning her behaviour, and I suspect this method of communcating anger between the two of you is how yousolve problems and conflicts. No doubt you have been heading toward the final chapter for a long, long time.

    I would most certainly apolgize. I would send her a store bought card, simply accepting your own responsibility for the very unfair comment about her father, because that was what you are responsible for. Then leave her alone.

    Some people are just like match heads when they are together. Maybe too similar in personalities, maybe arguing is the only way the two of you know how to clear the air and resolve pent up stress and upset with each other. But no matter what, consider, after an apology, the issue is over.

    tomptonite's Avatar
    tomptonite Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Oct 11, 2010, 01:22 PM
    When ever someone is serious enough to bring the law into a situation it is always best to back off and leave it alone. If she happens to reconsider your apology and calls YOU back then take the call. Find some way to resolve the conflict. If it ends up being more yelling and personal jabs at each other then there's no point to go any farther with things. Losing someone you've been with that long is going to hurt but you don't need to have legal problems on top of it.

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