[Kitkat22]

Read all the good advice you have been given and then read it
Again. You have to face the truth. You have to move on. Life is too short tto waste a minute thinking about "what if" or "why this or why that".

[annabean]

Hi Aniuska

Reading your piece, it seems that you and this man were friends, you fell in love with him and you slept together and he just thought of you as a good friend. Then it seems that he met his new girlfriend. I think he thought of you as a good friend at the time he slept with you, so don't feel that he cheated on you with this new girl as you and he weren't in a proper relationship at the time.

Sadly, men can become physically intimate with a woman without the depth of feeling that a woman feels when she becomes physically intimate with a man. Women often don't sleep with a man until they are in love with them. Unfortunately, men just love sex so will sleep with a woman they simply like as a friend if they are physically attracted to them.

I am currently in a very similar situation so know how you are feeling and know the agony unrequited love can cause.

I have a couple of questions for you:
1. Does he know that you are in love with him? If so, what was his reaction? If he said that he just thought of you as a friend then, right now, you have to accept that.
2. Why is it not possible for you to have no contact with him? No contact really is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

If this man only thinks of you as a good friend then you really do have to move on emotionally. I know this is hard. I can see that you are doing all the right things, so continue do do those - have a busy and interesting social life, spend time with your family and friends, indulge in those hobbies you love, make your home even more beautiful than it is, pamper yourself and get as fit as possible, try to go on dates with other men (this won't necessarily make you stop loving this man, but it will boost your confidence and will make you feel attractive to other men which is a good thing), Above all, keep busy and keep away from him, both in real space and cyberspace (i.e. email, text etc).

Let this go on for a good few months, a year if possible. After that point see him again and see if your feelings for him are still the same. You may be surprised to find that your feelings for him have dimmed and you don't feel that urgency to be with him any more. This is the power of no contact.

I know this is hard, but you have to do it. You will find someone who loves you as much as you love them, but first you have to set yourself free from the unrequited love you feel for this man.

Good luck
Annabean