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phoenix1664 · Oct 10, 2010, 06:52 AM

Right here goes I have been in a relationship now for just over 2 years and don't get me wrong its been great but lattely it has all been arguments when we are togetha and we just get on each others nerves and normaly I would just try to ignore it and carry on, Now here is the confusion just before we got to getha a was good friends with another girl and I asked her out and she refused but I have had feelings for her ever since and we have just seen each other again after 2 years, we got talking and the time I asked her out came up and she has told me that she said no because another guy had asked her out and he was scary and hit her and didn't know what to do and that if I had fought for her she would have said yes, now I have never cheated on my girlfriend ever until that night with the other one lets call her sam now we are both in relationships but yet when we see each other it seems not to matter we kiss and talk and remember the old times and we have both said that if we were single that we would get togetha as we both care for each other, now my problem is that I do not want to hurt the girl I am with now she has been great to me and does not deserve that at all but I mean technicaly I have almost cheated now and she does not deserve that either and I just don't know what to do anymore I don't want to hurm my girlfriend but all I can think about is sam, but if I do leave my girlfriend sam is still with someone, *** advice would be greatly apreciated thanks.

DoulaLC · Oct 10, 2010, 07:06 AM

You have already cheated on your girlfriend. If you don't want to be with just your girlfriend then do the right thing and break it off.

Do you think she would want to be your second choice? Better you end it than she ever find out what has been going on... she would be hurt even more.

I know you don't want to hurt her, and it is never easy to break up with someone you care about, but if you are having feelings, and even acting upon them, for "Sam", then you shouldn't be in an exclusive relationship with someone else.

Sam is also cheating and you are allowing her to continue by getting together with her. Do you really want to be with someone who would cheat on their boyfriend??

Might be best to end it with both of them. "Sam" is not really available to you and your feelings for your girlfriend are not enough for you to want to be with just her.

Take a break... let things settle... figure out what you want, and then date different people. Eventually you will find someone who is actually available that you actually want to be with exclusively.

talaniman · Oct 10, 2010, 07:11 AM

Its really simple. You leave sam alone, and don't do wrong. That's the right thing to do. Now if you, and your g/f are having issues, then deal with it without the distraction of another female, and do your g/f the honor of leaving before you cheat, if you are just tired of the relationship, or you feel its run its course. That would be the right thing to do, if not the easiest. Keep in mind that you and sam are already cheating on your partners, no matter how you justify it, or sugar coat it.

Do the right thing, and have no regrets or guilt.

KoolAide187 · Oct 16, 2010, 01:56 AM

This is all true... Sam is already cheating on her boyfriend what makes you think that if you get with her she isn't going to do the same thing right back to you. A relationship people get into from cheating is a relationship doomed to fail from the very beginning. You are both in it for lust not love. Sam may be in it for support not love but she is making you feel that she loves you.

Have you ever thought maybe the problems you're having in your relationship, the fights and what not are because you're trying to push your new girlfriend away for Sam? You may really want to be with this girl but the fact of the matter is... it's not going to work for you. If you want a relationship to work out. Work on the one you're already in. You are being manipulated by another female and letting your animalistic side to take over. This is your side that makes you think with your little head over your big head. You may think you love Sam but if you take a step back and look again.

You're infatuated with Sam not in love with her. If you don't want to be with your girlfriend you have at the moment then break it off with her and move on but getting with Sam will be a lose situation for you. Unless your winning situation is just to get your **** wet. If you're looking for love then you're going in the wrong direction. We can give you all the advice you want on here but the fact remains you're going to do what you want anyway. I'm giving you a 99% chance you won't listen to a word we say because all you have on your mind is Sam. I hope you can figure out what you really want in life. Good Luck.