[pirosc198786]

Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 8 years , I will be 32 weeks... throughout this pregnancy I think we might have had intercoarse once... he masterbates everyday in the bathroom.. that makes me feel as if he is not attracted to me anymore.. I talked to him about it and he said that he does not want to do it because he thinks he will hurt the baby ! How can I convince him that he won't hurt the baby ? I just feel like if you can get hard to porn , why can't you get hard for me ?

[Fr_Chuck]

It may be he has heard old tales about hurting the baby,
You both are going though some harder changes right now.

So take him to you to doctor visits, let him ask the doctor about it. Provide him online information

[Synnen]

Is your question why he's masturbating to porn, or is your question why he won't have sex with you? Or is it how you can convince him that he won't hurt the baby?

He's masturbating because he doesn't want to have sex with you because he's afraid he will hurt the baby.

He's using porn, because some guys get this thing in their head that pregnant women are MOTHERS now, and not the sexy lover they had anymore.

You convince him he won't hurt the baby by dragging his butt to the doctor with you and making sure the doctor talks to him about it.

[Cat1864]

pirosc198786 does not find this helpful : that doesn't help as to why he masterbates everyday...

Does he show affection in other ways? Have you talked about ways to be intimate without intercourse?

Your fiancé told you he is afraid of hurting the baby and probably you. It is a fear that many men have until the woman's obstetrician explains that it won't and why.

That is the reason he gave you and a way to counter it.

Other reasons that he may not even be aware of are:

-some couples go through this is because the male has problems seeing his partner as his lover and not a mother. It is a psychological block. He may not get over it until after the child is born.

-the baby moving at odd times while trying to be intimate can hurt the mood and he could be worried about the baby kicking him during sex.

Keep the lines of communication open. Let him know what you are feeling, listen to what he is saying, and work together to find a compromise.

[pirosc198786]

No he doesn't show sexual affection in other ways.. but I want more . & he doesn't want to give more. But he wants oral . He won't even give me oral. I tried telling him that he won't hurt the baby because the baby is surrounded by fluid.

[pirosc198786]

And he can't hurt the baby, but he's in that bathroom everyday at least 2-3 times doing it... and I'm just wondering if he doesn't think that I'm attractive anymore, I mean we have been together for 8 years , maybe its wearing off?

[pirosc198786]

It was all of them, but after reading some of the answers I had received everyone is pretty much saying the same thing over again. Take him to the doc he works when my doc. App. Are scheduled, and I can't reschedule because it takes forever to get back in

[Synnen]

Then get the doctor to give you some literature about it to give to him.

Frankly, I think it's a mental thing with him, and that he probably is NOT that attracted to you while you're pregnant. Some men just are NOT attracted to pregnant women, no matter how much they love them.

That being said--screw the whole idea of giving him oral when he won't reciprocate. And frankly, I'd start masturbating LOUDLY every time he went into the bathroom. While I don't have a problem with porn and masturbation, what I do have a problem with is partners shutting each other out.

You need to have a long conversation about this with him. You need to tell him how you feel--not how what he's doing makes you feel, but how you feel when he is doing it, if you get the difference. You should also talk to him about reassuring you--pregnancy hormones suck that way, and it's hard to feel attractive when you feel like a beached whale. Even if he doesn't want to have sex with you, he needs to help reinforce that you are still sexy to him.

If he will not budge on anything after this discussion, then he needs to take time off from work to go to the doctor's with you.