[confused.com]

Been with g/f now for 2 half months.At first she played games.. I knew she fancied me.. but wouldn't let me date her!
When I got fed up and said I give up.. she admitted that she really fancied me and just wanted sexual relationship and didn't want to get into a relationship.
Found out she had been treated badly in the past.. either being beaten,catching ex cheating or being totally made to feel unwanted!
She also has 4 kids by 3 different fellers!
So we started sleeping together and it was obvious from the start it was more than just sex.. after 2 months she said she loved me!
For the next week it was bliss then all of a sudden hot and cold.
An argument ensued in which she said that it was to intense and that the fun was disappearing and she also accused me of being insecure and rushing things .ie she said if I told you I loved u 3 times.. you would worry why I hadn't said it 4 times.. lol!
She has a point I do tend to rush but my last relationship ended with her cheating.. so I'm bound to be a little insecure,something she doesn't really appreciate as another point that gets me is she uses Facebook to get attention from other fellers!
Im not saying she's cheating.. she just likes the attention.. but she also covers her tracks by deleting comments from her wall to mine or other peoples!
Anyway were back together after we said we would slow down and do the dating thing and give each other space... so I've not been as intense and acting cooler (something which seems to make her keener) and we've already made a date for tomorrow,seeing each other at a dance class midweek and then she wants to stay at mine Friday and come away Saturday with me... I just don't know where I am!. HELP!!

[talaniman]

You are caught up in lust, and trying to make it a relationship. That's where you are.

[confused.com]

Excellent answer talaniman... you could be right!. but I would like it to work as we share the same sense of humour and activitys.. particularly dancing which I've taught her and is one of the main attractions she feels for me!

Feel that with hiding things on Facebook she may also be keeping her options open... but she does a very convincing 'I love you' although I don't suppose I will hear that for a while!

Sorry il get the hang of this posting sooner or later.My question really is.. how do I play this now... is there hope!

[talaniman]

The lust will wear off, and the love will grow, if it's there in the first place. The thing is to enjoy getting to know each other without getting carried away by intensely strong feelings and sex makes any feelings very strong and hard to resist. That's why you take your time, and not just throw all your eggs in one basket, after only two months.

Right now, BIRTH CONTROL, buddy would be the responsible way to go about this. At least you can see what else besides lust, and common interest you can build on, because no matter what you like together, its how well you deal with issues that life throws at you, that will define this relationship in time.

One thing though, honesty is where you build trust, and communications, so if you cannot communicate your fears of her hiding something on Facebook, or whatever, then you can forget about trust, honesty, and a relationship. Personally after only two months and the experiences she has had, and all those kids, I wouldn't be surprised if she is protecting herself.

Things may be great now, but will they be in a year? Two? How about just 6 months from now? That's the thing, no one knows for sure what will happen, so make sure she is worth the risk.