[testmsn]

I like this guy, S, and I'm close to his friend, H, more than him.

S always tease and bully me. We always argue every time we talked, either face to face or chatting. He always asked me treat him coffee or send him home when his car got problem. He give me lots of nickname, and we always chatting at night, and every time he would start first. S also really enjoyed it when he knew that I feel jealous when I said that he's flirting with other girl.

But currently, everything like not the same anymore. We didn't chat as often as before, and he stop calling me by the nickname he gave me. He always said that I like H and if I want, he can help me to get H. He also asked me why I never join him lunch whenever H is not around. When he invited me for lunch, he would mention H name as well (ie: “H is not coming, do you want to join me?”; “I sent H to invite you, I want see how you going to reject it.”). He's like creating a distance.

And right now, I think that H think I like him. Coz H know that I like someone, and he want to know who that guy is and ask me why I can't tell him when I can tell the other guy. And I said that I just can't tell him. And starting then, H is like acting weird with me. He's like creating a distance also. Only answer me when I ask about work issue.

Should I tell H who I like or am I just over reacting?

Should I tell S that I like him? Initially, I want to tell S that I like him on my last day in the office. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Do you think that S knew that I like him, and that's the reason why he keep on linking me to H?

I really need advise. Thanks.

[talaniman]

Its so confusing, and complicated when you cannot make up your own mind as to what, and who you want. That's the first thing you have to do, make a decision on one, and leave the other one alone.

If you like H so much go for it, what's the problem? Or do you like attention from both? Don't string people along, be honest with yourself, and be honest with others, or you will find yourself ALONE.

You can't expect either guy to sit and wait while you make up your mind, now can you?

[testmsn]

Hi talaniman,

Thanks for your answer, but I think you have misunderstood me.

I don't have any feeling towards H. I only like S. I only think of H as a friend who I can share anything with, except for telling him who I like when he asked me. H and S is best friend. And that's make me refuse to answer him cause I scare that H will tell S. But since I refuse to answer him, he act colder towards me now, which make me think that H might think that I like him, which I'm not.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, I guess I have to ask ages and what culture is this, to be honest for US, expect where the car is named I was guessing JR HIGH.

You be honest about what you feel, if you feel a certain way. And make sure that the "friend" undestands he is just the friend.

[talaniman]

Why not get things in the open, and talk to S. Its really awkward, and unwise to confide in the best friend of the guy you like. That's what GIRL friends are for. I have no doubt H & S talk to each other about YOU, that's just what guys do who are best friends.

Fr. Chuck is right, how old are all of you??

[Cat1864]

It sounds like S has been trying to ask you out. He just hasn't been open about it.

If you are all co-workers at this time, it might make the work place uncomfortable if you did become involved with one of them.

Be honest with H that you treasure him as a friend, but that you are not romantically interested in him. Let him know that you feel it would be improper to tell him who the person is before you talk to the other person.

If you are leaving that job, on the last day, why not ask S out for lunch? If he accepts and the lunch goes well, see where things go from there.