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    trent81's Avatar
    trent81 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 8, 2010, 12:52 PM
    Girlfriend threatens to tell parents we had sex when I want to break up
    Soo I need to break up with my girlfriend she is psycho. We have been together for a year or so and have had sex. She is a year younger than me I'm 18 she is 17.. the problem is if I do something bad she threatens me saying I will tell my parents we've had sex. And if she were to do that id be in huge trouble since I'm 18. I'm miserable and want to be happy and she just suffocates me.. I also am getting a job thanks to her mom who is the manager but I'm afraid if I do anything drastic like saying I want to break up she will tell her mom and my job would be screwed along with future jobs if the mom says I'm a bad person.. along with my like being ruined due to me being legal age and she isn't and we have had sex.. I'm in California if tat makes any differece with the sexual policy. What do I do?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Oct 8, 2010, 12:59 PM

    Sorry but you made your mess, so be a man and live up to it.
    So her mom fires you and you have to get a new job, that is not the end of the world.

    Perhaps you need to go tell mom what is happening and do it on your terms
    trent81's Avatar
    trent81 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:03 PM

    The job thing isn't that much of a problem but the part when she says she will tell her parents about us having sex is where I am scared. I know I messed up by not waiting till she was older but she is blackmailing me and is trying to control my life.. I just don't want to go to jail for it and her parents are very strict and seem like the type that will kill me if they found out we have slept together
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #4

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:27 PM

    Are you in the US? The age of consent varies depending on the state.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:38 PM

    You can live in fear, and be controlled by it, or you can man up, and pay the consequences for your actions.

    If you rather be controlled by this psycho girlfriend forever, shut up, and take your medicine. If you rather have your freedom from this psycho girlfriend, then take your medicine, and your freedom.

    She will be easier to disappear from as a psycho ex g/f though, for sure, and you may be jobless for a time, but so what, you will be free to get another job, and a better g/f. You are so scared, you aren't thinking straight.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:55 PM
    So, you are guilty of a misdemeanor since she is less than three years younger than you are (WAIS Document Retrieval see 261.5)

    You can either put up with her 'blackmail' or you can explain the situation to her parents and hope they don't turn you in. I am sure they would be very interested in knowing what their daughter is doing.

    I am sorry that you are learning this lesson the hard way, but I hope you have learned it.

    Edited to add a more reliable link: http://www.ageofconsent.com/california.htm
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #7

    Oct 9, 2010, 02:18 AM

    Record the conversation when she blackmails you. Go to her parents and confess.

    I don't condone what you did. I don't condone what she's doing either.

    Edit: Maybe not a good idea... See below post.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #8

    Oct 9, 2010, 05:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kaka67 View Post
    Record the conversation when she blackmails you. Go to her parents and confess.

    I dont condone what you did. I dont condone what she's doing either.
    He would need to be extremely careful about what the laws in California say about taping someone without his/her knowledge specially since she is a 'minor'. He doesn't need to compound the legal issues.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #9

    Oct 9, 2010, 06:20 AM

    Honestly it is not just your mess but her mess. You both slept with each other. So guess what she is just much to blame as you. So for her to threaten and use that against you is psycho.

    You need to do what is proper, enough with the threats and break up with her and let her say whatever.
    pandead's Avatar
    pandead Posts: 280, Reputation: 228
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    #10

    Oct 9, 2010, 06:34 AM

    I don't know how strict her parents are, but most of the parents are OK with that these days. It's just my opinion of course, but it's not like she's 13... If you're so scared you have no choice but to break up after her 18th birthday and if you really want out, be ready for a serious dicussion with her parents.

    As everyone else said, we learn from our mistakes. Good luck and may the force be with you :)
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