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    FoxChange's Avatar
    FoxChange Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:36 PM
    How Do You Know Your Relationships In The Toilet?
    Ok So Im 17 1/3 and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half, at first are relationship was amazing and it seemed like nothing could ever split us apart, then a year ago I moved away from him, and our relationship countined as a "Long distance Relationship" yet he was still very romantic, loving, a gentleman, talkative (he would call me, and was just interested in talking to me), he ALWAYS complimented me, he always tried to come see me, he was supportive, he was basically the dream boyfriend, and did not want us to end even though we were apart. I Never took advantage of what he did for me and I treated him exactly the same. This month everythings been a very different story, I've needed him now more then ever, because I'm in a new high school, with tuffer people and bigger problems, and lately he has not been supportive or very loving towards me, talking is now a minimum, and it seems as though he just wants what he wants (Not sex wise btw) I Know He's NOT a bad person, and I know its not because of sex, he's not like that, but I feel maybe he's in a deppression state of some kind, and I tried talking to him about it, and it only leads to arguments, I feel like there's something he's not telling me... he's never really been very open with his feelings... im not sure if that could be a factor... but I'm running out of options, I've tried everything, but I fear that if I don't have his support soon... I might leave him

    So please help me, maybe there's something I missing out, I'm ready to accept what I'm doing wrong... I need to know what I can do in my part to help him, because I am worried... even though I'm the one who needs the support. Thanks~
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Oct 8, 2010, 01:48 PM

    What kind of support do you need from him, that he isn't giving you, AND have your LD conversations become about just you, and your problems? (that would be a problem)

    LDR's are difficult under the best circumstances, but they get worse when there is no end in sight for the separation.
    FoxChange's Avatar
    FoxChange Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 8, 2010, 03:00 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Well I'm not very liked at school, and I need someone who I know cares very much about me to come home to, and just be there for me, tell me that everythings going to be OK, even though there's that slight chance things will get worse, you know

    I also do ask him if he's OK, if everythings all right, how his day was, I'm still there for him regardless... but what about me? I feel like I'm making everyone else happy, but not myself, is that wrong?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 8, 2010, 04:29 PM

    Quote by FoxChange;
    Well I'm not very liked at school, and I need someone who I know cares very much about me to come home to, and just be there for me, tell me that everythings going to be OK, even though there's that slight chance things will get worse, you know
    Ir seems you are rather isolated in a brand new environment, and may need him more and have become more needy yourself. Its not easy to rebuild in a new situation, but come on now, you haven't made one new acquaintance? Hard to believe, even for a new girl on campus. What is going on in this new school really, and the people you are around?
    I also do ask him if he's OK, if everythings all right, how his day was, I'm still there for him regardless... but what about me? I feel like I'm making everyone else happy, but not myself, is that wrong?
    Yes its wrong if he is trying his best and that's a lot different if that's not enough, or you need more. Hey look, you have to see that its YOUR responsibility to make yourself happy, I mean he can only do so much. You still haven't answered the question about what he isn't doing that you want him to do.
    This month everythings been a very different story, I've needed him now more then ever, because I'm in a new high school, with tuffer people and bigger problems, and lately he has not been supportive or very loving towards me, talking is now a minimum, and it seems as though he just wants what he wants
    What would that be, help me understand by being specific. I suspect he is doing his thing, and not there when you want him to be available to you. He has a life that he enjoys besides you, but you don't seem to have one besides him, but whose fault is that??

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