[acmoore779]

"hi im in NC and have a almost 6 month old son....my ex has never seen him or sent any support of any kind...he is not listed on the birth certificate and we were never married...he popped up saying he wants right to my son but i would prefer he not be involoved as he was both verbally and physically abusive to me and do not want that for my son...does he have any rights???"

[Wondergirl]

Yes, but he has to get a lawyer and order a DNA test to prove he's the father. There's a sticky about this at the top of this category. I'll copy and paste it below --

Signing Over rights-** READ FIRST **
This is a very frequently asked question here. And frequently answered. The following is a summary of the facts and covers most jurisdictions.

1) A bio parent cannot be forced to relinquish their rights, it has to be voluntary.
a) The only exceptions to this are where the bio parent cannot be found after a good faith effort to contact them or in cases where the bio parent represents a danger to the child.

2) Most areas make it difficult for a bio parent to relinquish their parental rights. Usually its allowed only to clear the way for adoption of the child.

3) Relinquishment of rights refers only to the right to have a say in how a child is raised.

4) Relinquishment of parental rights may or may not affect parental responsibility depending on local laws. The parent can still be held responsible for child support or it will be even harder to get a Termination of Parental Rights. A TPR is NOT going to be granted just to let the parent off the hook for support.

5) The only thing that allows ending responsibility is if the child is adopted, in which case the adoptive parents assume that responsibility.

Those are the facts and apply to almost all circumstances in almost all areas. There are several threads here that discuss this issue in greater depth. I would suggest reading them before posting a question.

On a personal note, I do not recommend relinquishing rights unless it's to clear the way for adoption. A child deserves to know his parents, not matter how bad the person may have been. People can change.

[acmoore779]

I'm not asking him to sign over his rights... im worried about him being alone with him and losing his temper and hitting my son.. he is still verbally abusive to me now even when I'm trying to be civil and give him a chance, he hasn't changed so far

[acmoore779]

Also making things hard is the fact that I'm in NC and he is in FL so there is no easy solution to visitation, with my son being so young I would be sending him to people he has never mee,t m also breastfeeding him so being away doesn't really work

[joypulv]

He can't do anything until he can convince the court to order a paternity test. Sit tight and try not to worry unless he's able to do that. And no, he can't force you to send the child to FL. He sounds pretty demanding but don't be intimidated. You could get a restraining order if he is acting threatening.

[Fr_Chuck]

1. please don't use comment feature to add more info, you are suppose to "answer" your own question to add more info.

2. He has "rights" but can not enforcement them without a court order. That of course should have been done at birth, a order of custody and a child support order.

If he goes to court, and has not been allowed to see the child, he will also use that in court against you, stating that you were trying to keep the child from him, or even turning the child against him.

You will have to have evidence that he is a danger to the child to stop him from having regular visits

If he goes to court he will get visits and they will be outside of your home and will include over night vists unless you have evidence to show he should not.

And even with evidence of a threat he will still get supervised visits.

Again the time to do this is now ( really when born) and on your terms with you going to court to prove paternity and to estabilsh child support