[toffee_apple87]

19 months ago me and the kids father split up, but since he is going more down hill - smoking pot, allways in pubs fighting and god only knows what else what. My kids are aged three and four, since we split he's barely bothered about them, I kept asking him to arrange days and times, but he never did he just seen them when he could be bothered - but even then he would hang around for barely ten minutes. I then lay down the line and said he could see them fortnightly on a Saturday and ring them every Wednesday as there both young but excellent on the phone - but he don't like the fact that it has to be "MY" terms but I was sick of the kids being messed about by him- I've never asked for anything towards the kids just for him to be in there life or not to bother, I'm the one that always has to take the kids to see him and the fare isn't cheep. He doesn't ever ask how they are or how they've done since they started school , absolutely nothing - he didn't get them nothing not even a phonecall for birthdays and christmas all he ever does is picks fights with me - so far with the arrangements I've made he has barely stuck to them and he's telling people that I'm not letting him see them and I'm trying to keep the kids out his life - don't get me wrong they would be far better off with his current antics I wish he would grow up and start being a dad he is 33 years old sometimes I often wonder if they would be better off without him because of how he is but I grew up without my dad from the age of 16 as he died of cancer I really don't know what to do and what would be best but I don't want my kids coming back one day smoking pot drinking thieving or any of there fathers antics I don't trust him with the kids either when we were together he did absolutely {vulgarity removed} all for them never bathed them fed them played with them took them anywhere bugger all he just takes them for granted and this I don't like my kids deserve way better than this I know I have rambled a bit but words just isn't enough to describe this man who calls himself a dad!

[martinizing2]

As financially hard as it will be to do,
You need to get an attorney and have all the support and
visitation stipulations ordered by the court.

Then if he doesn't like it he can argue with the judge,
Leaving you free to tend to the enormous task of raising children... on your own.

I went through the same (well very similar) thing with my ex.
The court ended all of problems caused by "misunderstood verbal communication"
Or as I also called it, "How many problems, and how much trouble can I be caused by
her misunderstandings. That occurred regularly when she was irritated with me."

If money is a problem ( and when isn't it) your local legal aid
May help you or refer you to those who may.

Good luck in court, and I wish you well

[ScottGem]

Umm so what is your question?

Please use the Answer options to post follow up, not the comments feature.

[toffee_apple87]

Thing is even when we were together for the four years I was raising them by myself and it is hard but since I've not been with him my kids seem so much happier more well behaved and they don't even mention him.

[toffee_apple87]

I'm not fully sure myself I've always done what's best for my kids they always come first that gos without saying but in this situation I'm not sure what's best for them when it comes to there dad if you could call him that