[sweet nurse]

Hi ,

My husband has just moved out of the house after 25 years of marriage. I am heart broken and don't quite know what to do. I am over weigt and he is not and this is a huge issue for him. He also hasn't said it but he has implyed it in several differrent conversations that the love he had at the beginning is not there anymore. I think he is giong through a mid live crisis and that these are symptoms of that. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

{Moved. The Introductions forum is not for asking questions-<>}

[Marriedguy]

Sorry, to hear about this situation. If the reason why he left was because of your weight then you really should not want him back.

Where did he go? He just left no agruement he just walked out? Is he willing to do marriage counseling?

[jkjunk6]

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.
Is weight what he says is the main issue. If so, have you made a sincere effort in losing the weight? I am female, and I know that the anatomy of a woman makes it difficult to lose weight, but I also know that men are very visual - he wants to be attracted to you. I'm not trying to be shallow, but very rarely do people marry for personality alone... or for looks alone. There is usually a combo of many qualities that will attract.
I would start a workout routine, not for him - but FOR YOU. You said yourself that you are overweight... and we all know there are health risks that come with that. Just focus on getting healthy. There are many things that come from being healthy :) Including confidence!
You didn't mention a whole lot of detail on if he left, or if he is willing to pursue counsling... is there someone else outside of you? Was your sex life (obviously you don't have to answer this question in such a public place) OK, what about your personal life?
I would recommend reading (if he has any interest in working things out with you) "the Five Love Languages." Hope this helps :)

[donf]

Sweet Nurse,

Well if he feels that the life the both of you created together is worth nothing, and there is no reason, I can tell he's full of a brown substance clear up to his eyes.

Granted, when I married I was a mere slip of a lad, 5'9" and 135 lbs. I played HS Basketball, ran track ran away from slower cops who didn't get their back up there fast enough.

Now 42 years later I'm pushing 290 and the only running I do is between the bases on a baseball diamond. I'm an umpire now that I retired and am out to pasture so to speak.

My wife has also aged in the same human fashion. I tell you and I mean this from the bottom of my happy heart. I still see my lady in a pink sundress she wore when we were in our twenties. Not to mention a super hot pink two piece that she wore in July of '68.

The physical person has changed so much, but the lady at the root of that change is still captivating to me.

Your husband needs to be tied down to a chair and beaten with wet macaroni until it penetrates his head, that he chose you to be his wife, he gave his vows to you and unless his word is as no good as he appears to be he will remember his vows and recommit himself to you.

If he can't do that then you may have to seek a divorce, however, please seek professional help and never forget that you to gave a vow to him. Do not endanger yourself by seeking comfort from else, Please!

[beatlejuice]

You are full of good advice and your wife is so blessed to have a husband like you

[N0help4u]

He sounds like he is shallow and doesn't have much care for the quality of your relationship or considering the chances of breaking up and finding it isn't what he wanted after all.
He probably is going through a restless stage where he *wants to find himself* or a mid life crisis. My sister's husband and one of my friends husband left for another woman and eventually they both realized the grass wasn't greener and came back.
I would say the best thing you can do if he isn't interested in trying to work things out with you is enjoy your time by taking a class or starting a hobby or doing volunteer work. If you meet someone good for you; if you don't you will at least be having a life you can call your own. The last thing you need to do is sit around the house moping and feeling sorry for yourself while he is out enjoying himself.