Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sweet nurse's Avatar
    sweet nurse Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 31, 2007, 09:46 AM
    How to avoid divorce and salvage thje marriage
    Hi ,

    My husband has just moved out of the house after 25 years of marriage. I am heart broken and don't quite know what to do. I am over weigt and he is not and this is a huge issue for him. He also hasn't said it but he has implyed it in several differrent conversations that the love he had at the beginning is not there anymore. I think he is giong through a mid live crisis and that these are symptoms of that. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

    {Moved. The Introductions forum is not for asking questions-<>}
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Oct 31, 2007, 10:13 AM
    Sorry, to hear about this situation. If the reason why he left was because of your weight then you really should not want him back.

    Where did he go? He just left no agruement he just walked out? Is he willing to do marriage counseling?
    jkjunk6's Avatar
    jkjunk6 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 31, 2007, 10:28 AM
    I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.
    Is weight what he says is the main issue. If so, have you made a sincere effort in losing the weight? I am female, and I know that the anatomy of a woman makes it difficult to lose weight, but I also know that men are very visual - he wants to be attracted to you. I'm not trying to be shallow, but very rarely do people marry for personality alone... or for looks alone. There is usually a combo of many qualities that will attract.
    I would start a workout routine, not for him - but FOR YOU. You said yourself that you are overweight... and we all know there are health risks that come with that. Just focus on getting healthy. There are many things that come from being healthy :) Including confidence!
    You didn't mention a whole lot of detail on if he left, or if he is willing to pursue counsling... is there someone else outside of you? Was your sex life (obviously you don't have to answer this question in such a public place) OK, what about your personal life?
    I would recommend reading (if he has any interest in working things out with you) "the Five Love Languages." Hope this helps :)
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 31, 2007, 12:28 PM
    Sweet Nurse,

    Well if he feels that the life the both of you created together is worth nothing, and there is no reason, I can tell he's full of a brown substance clear up to his eyes.

    Granted, when I married I was a mere slip of a lad, 5'9" and 135 lbs. I played HS Basketball, ran track ran away from slower cops who didn't get their back up there fast enough.

    Now 42 years later I'm pushing 290 and the only running I do is between the bases on a baseball diamond. I'm an umpire now that I retired and am out to pasture so to speak.

    My wife has also aged in the same human fashion. I tell you and I mean this from the bottom of my happy heart. I still see my lady in a pink sundress she wore when we were in our twenties. Not to mention a super hot pink two piece that she wore in July of '68.

    The physical person has changed so much, but the lady at the root of that change is still captivating to me.

    Your husband needs to be tied down to a chair and beaten with wet macaroni until it penetrates his head, that he chose you to be his wife, he gave his vows to you and unless his word is as no good as he appears to be he will remember his vows and recommit himself to you.

    If he can't do that then you may have to seek a divorce, however, please seek professional help and never forget that you to gave a vow to him. Do not endanger yourself by seeking comfort from else, Please!
    beatlejuice's Avatar
    beatlejuice Posts: 63, Reputation: 2
    -
     
    #5

    Oct 31, 2007, 02:40 PM
    Comment on donf's post
    You are full of good advice and your wife is so blessed to have a husband like you
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Oct 31, 2007, 08:13 PM
    He sounds like he is shallow and doesn't have much care for the quality of your relationship or considering the chances of breaking up and finding it isn't what he wanted after all.
    He probably is going through a restless stage where he *wants to find himself* or a mid life crisis. My sister's husband and one of my friends husband left for another woman and eventually they both realized the grass wasn't greener and came back.
    I would say the best thing you can do if he isn't interested in trying to work things out with you is enjoy your time by taking a class or starting a hobby or doing volunteer work. If you meet someone good for you; if you don't you will at least be having a life you can call your own. The last thing you need to do is sit around the house moping and feeling sorry for yourself while he is out enjoying himself.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Marriage or divorce [ 2 Answers ]

Married 14 years separated 2 I asked him to leave the home we have two children I use to be very over bearing would not compliment on anything always had something negative to say I have changed greatly I do want my husband back but I guess since I was so negative he doesn't believe me I have...

Marriage or divorce? [ 31 Answers ]

Just a little poll... When and why would divorce be OK with you? Easy way out or work through it? How much work is enough? I keep reading about so many people wanting to divorce. My parents were, my friends parents were. Isn't it high time we change the mood and set better examples for our...

Confused about Marriage and Divorce [ 1 Answers ]

I had a church wedding in California 13 years ago. Now I want a divorce. However, my husband informed me that we were never legally married because the marriage was never recorded with the county or state recorder's office. I checked with the county recorder and there is not record of our...

International Marriage in military.. Could Divorce... What do I do to save our marriage [ 7 Answers ]

My husband is in Germany serving the US Army and since November 14, 2005 he has been gone. I was supposed to go over there with him but yet to go. He says that he wants a divorce and when I try to get the real true reason out of him nothing works all he says is that I know why but deep down I have...


View more questions Search