[MattBilling]

So we've been dating for a year and a half, and about half of that has been long distance with her at school 8 hours away. We have had a few problems, with me being jealous and picking some stupid fights. She came back from school for the summer and we had an amazing summer together, and were excited for her to go back to school so it can finish, because after this year long distance would have been done. We have discussed marriage and getting kids, and we both share the same long term goals, and have shared our desire to be with each other.
A couple weeks ago, she decided that she wanted a break for September, and than work like crazy on us until christmas, and decide over the break what to do. I was giving her more space, not talking to her that often, only replying when she would text me or call me, and we were going good. Than she wanted to talk last weekend so I called her, and she said she wasn't sure if she wanted this again right now or not, and so I told her to take the time she wants, but that I'm not going to be waiting around for her. Even after that we still talked, and she told me how much she loves me, and promised me that we will work through this, maybe not immediately but in the end, and that she re assured me that we were going to have what we wanted. And the next day she texted wanting to skype because she missed me, we had a good talk and everything.
I sent her a text the next day (almost 24 hours after talking on skype) saying "have fun" which I meant as in have a good day, but she took it out of context and thought I was looking for a fight. It turned in to a fight, and stuff was said, nothing too bad though. She than called me back and was like, "I want a break until at least the end of the semester, you might see me over thanksgiving, you might not, and we will decide at the end of the semester what to do, and if not than we can meet up and exchange belongings". That sucked to me, and of course I was upset and wanted to fix it asap. The next day I tried calling her and texting her, but she wouldn't reply. And than the next day she sent me a text being like "I hope today is better for you." And since Thursday, no matter what I text her, or if I call her, she doesn't reply, or she doesn't answer the phone. She also blocked me on Facebook, deleted profile pictures of me on her profile, and changed the relationship status to single. I haven't been able to get a hold of her, so I'm not handling it too well.
I really don't know what to do, any help would be greatly appreciated!

[talaniman]

She is single, so whether you like it or not, so are you. Do your thing, and let her do hers, since that's exactly what she is going to do. Look guy she strung you along, and started that fight to get the break she wanted. That leaves her guiltless, and you holding the bag, confused as what to do. Do as she is doing, have your fun, and exchange whatever you have to exchange, and don't be sucked back into her BS!!

Its always a red flag when a partner needs a break, and wants you to sit there like a dufus until they are ready to make time for you again. Like tying the dog to the porch, and going on vacation. One parties, and the other waits faithfully.
Don't be that guy waiting, you deserve better, and can have it, if you wrap your head around the fun is over, and its time to go.

Good luck, but leave her alone, and stop all contact, even when she tries to contact you. Ignore her as she is ignoring you.

[crys27]

I'm going to be honest because I am a woman and have played this game, in younger years of course, but I am NOT old now, haha, anyway... there is someone who isn't you! You will never get over it. Just because water under the bridge rocks the boats that break the bridge... move on and get you a little hottie to have some fun with. Why so serious, when you seem young? Live it up... responsibly!

[vanheart]

She's already given you the message that she doesn't want to continue this.

There's only one thing to do. Move on. Never speak to her again.

Doesn't sound like things were ever really solid anyway.

You can't have an LD relationship for too long. Believe me. Its too challenging. Skype does not a relationship make...

There's lots of girls in this world. Have as much fun as she's having.

Chalk it up to a good time & good lesson.

[beachloverjohn]

This may come as a shock to you, but saying "I love you' is easy. Acting that way is quite another. People say over and over and over that he/she loves me. But they want a break. They won't return my calls, etc, etc. Words are cheap. Stop being so naïve. She doesn't love you. She doesn't want to see you. And she wants to be free to do whatever she wants. Stop giving her so much power over you. Grow up. Find someone else, someone that really cares about you. She's not it. I'm not trying to be mean, but you have to face reality. Think about it. If you really cared about someone, would you refuse to see that person? Would you give that person the opportunity {or excuse} to go out with someone else? Would you give them a reason to think you don't care? Of course not. That's not the way it works. Be a man, and don't chase your tail like a dog. There are tons of women out there, so who needs a girl that treats you like you mean nothing. Listen to me, it's for your own good...

[MattBilling]

So going to give you guys an update, she finally talked to me yesterday. Still angry as heck, and essentially for no reason. She told me she needed space for a longer period, but I told her that I'm still committed to her 100%. She said "I don't want you to be, we aren't together" to which I told her "but theres a chance of us getting back together and I want to make it as easy as possible for you." And she said "Not a very good chance, I dont want you to waste your time waiting for me." And she than replied again saying "I haven't been committed cause we aren't together, I'm sorry Matt but you knew this."
That says a lot about her character, that just a week after breaking up she has already hooked up with somebody. What an awful person, how can you treat somebody you love like that? Needless to say I will never be talking to this wench again.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When you break up, have the courtesy to revoke their relationship privileges.

Talaniman Rules- when you get dumped, don't go back to get dumped again

Sorry for your loss, but now your free to do a lot better, and trust me you will.

[beachloverjohn]

Matt, it is very hard for some people to be completely honest. Many times they just feel really bad and don't want to sound cruel. So they dance around it, and give hints and act indifferent, etc, in hopes you get the message and just back off and leave them alone. This does more harm in the long run , because you hang on to false hopes. So don't blame her alone, also blame yourself for not seeing the writing on the wall. The one thing you said I do agree with is that you will never talk to her again. Stick to that and eventually you will get over this. I know this is tough, I've been there, and I know that it's a lot easier clinging to the idea that you will eventually get back together, but in the long run it's worse, because the time we waited was a complete waste. I know you had a year and a half, but remember, nobody owns anybody, so she is free to see anyone she wants. And so are you, so best thing you can do for yourself is move on. And the reason she treated you the way she did in the past is because you allowed it. And when you let people treat you badly, it's the same thing as saying "it's OK to do it" So what happens? They keep doing it. You should have walked away weeks ago. Now you have no choice, which is a good thing because maybe now you will let go of the fantasy.

[answerme_tender]

Matt--
Your going through a hard time now, but you have been some great advice by the other members, its now up to you to either uttilize the No Contact or not. The advice were she just start the fight to give herself justification for breakup was right on the mark!! She had already started see another guy or guys and didn't want to be the bad person, so she reversed it. She also is trying to make you feel guilty. That feeling is so much easier to control from a distance then anger. Having you feel guilty and keeping your thinking there is a chance. That's a great way to keep you as an option for her when she comes home for breaks.
Its your choice, do you want to be nothing more then an option or do you want someone who will be there by your side. Good luck

[vanheart]

Time to go NC, and do your own thing.

No sense being hung up or waste your time on someone that doesn't feel the same.

Don't worry. It's a big world out there.

[MattBilling]

One more update, she unblocked me from Facebook yesterday, not sure why?
But one of her school friends has me as a friend on Facebook and I saw my ex wrote on her wall saying "your shoes drove the boys crazy tonight, thanks for letting me borrow them" :s think she unblocked me just so I could see that?
No matter when I ask her for answers, or anything she just says leave me alone.

[vanheart]

NC also means no hunting for answers on Facebook.

That's only going to cause you more grief.

[talaniman]

No matter when I ask her for answers, or anything she just says leave me alone.

Then why don't you leave her alone, especially on Facebook? Stop running full speed, head first into a brick wall.

Didn't it hurt enough the last time you did that?