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ScottGem · Sep 12, 2010, 06:19 PM

What the leasing agent offered is pretty standard. We've given you your alternatives.

jdeleon76 · Sep 13, 2010, 09:11 AM

The divorce papers she filed stated that our sepertion date is July 19, 2010. It is the day she told me to leave the home for a cooling off period... She stated she needed time alone. The rent for July and August was paid by myself along with the utilities. The kids are in her custody living in the apartment and the kids have recently started school on Aug 30th. She currently works at $15.00 per hour, four days a week. Since the time I've been away from the apartment, she hasn't paid any of our bills. Currently there is no home phone service, cable and internet at the apartment due to non-payment on her part. We have 2 vehicles together, one which is financed under my name (nissan) and the other is financed under both our names (honda). She currently drives the vehicle that is financed under my name. We had agreed that she would handle the payments on the honda and I would handle the payments of the nissan. She tells me that she can't afford the rent, the car payments, and having difficulties financially to afford the tuition for our kids daycare, and groceries. I've already given her $1200 in child support since Aug. 27th, I've offered her to help with the rent so as long as she puts in $800 (which she says she can't afford). She states she only has $500 and that is all the money she has available. By giving up the $500 she will have nothing to afford the daycare cost and groceries plus money for gas and unable to pay her car payment. So which means even after I pay the difference of the rent amount, that I would also have to cover the cost of daycare and car payments for both cars to save us from the risk of eviction and repossession. I'm doing my part by paying the required child support to care for my kids, but feel she isn't doing or affording her responsibilities towards our kids. By offering to help her with the rent... I'm going far beyond what I'm required to do as far as the child support payments, but it will put myself in financial hardship. I feel if she can't provide a roof over our kids, that I would be able to, and that the kids should return to me. She continues to threaten me that she will take the kids and move to san diego if I don't pay the rent, and she has also threatened me that she will change my visitation rights with the kids. She wants me out of her life, but neglects to understand that we have kids together and that we need to build a relationship as parents to support and care for our kids. She is doing everything she can to take the kids away from me completely. What can I do?

JudyKayTee · Sep 13, 2010, 09:15 AM

You go back to Court, explain the situation, ask for an adjustment in child support due to the circumstances you have stated here.

We've given you all the legal answers. Now you have to follow through.

ScottGem · Sep 13, 2010, 09:18 AM

While you have added specific detail, it doesn't change the base situation. If she can't afford to maintain the current apartment then she needs to find a less expansive one. She, apparently, initiated the divorce, she needs to have planned things out.

You need to work through the courts for anything as of this point.

jdeleon76 · Sep 13, 2010, 09:27 AM

With my wife filing for divorce, and our finanical situation in such difficulties and feel that filing bankruptcy will help. Is it best to file for bankruptcy during the divorce or once the divorce have been finalized?

JudyKayTee · Sep 13, 2010, 09:31 AM

Only you know - but be aware that any joint obligations will become HER obligations if you file and the bankruptcy is approved. The Court will address that situation in the divorce.

This is best answered by an Attorney familiar with your income, expenses, assets.

jdeleon76 · Sep 13, 2010, 09:41 AM

With the Restraining Order in place that is stated in the Divorce papers... what can I do if she is not able to afford to protect our community assets and meet the obligation of our debts. What steps can I take to ensure that she takes care of her part? What do I need to file with the courts? Our apartment is at risk for eviction, our vehicles are at risk for repossesion. With us being separated at this point, she should take care of her half of all the debts just as much as I do... but what can I do to enforce that in her?

ScottGem · Sep 13, 2010, 10:13 AM

Go to court

JudyKayTee · Sep 13, 2010, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by jdeleon76

With the Restraining Order in place that is stated in the Divorce papers...what can I do if she is not able to afford to protect our community assets and meet the obligation of our debts. What steps can I take to ensure that she takes care of her part? What do i need to file with the courts? Our apartment is at risk for eviction, our vehicles are at risk for repossesion. With us being seperated at this point, she should take care of her half of all the debts just as much as I do...but what can I do to enforce that in her?

I for one am getting bored but I'll try one more time. Are you actually reading the answers?

You say there is a restraining order. Then you say there is not. Then she's filed for divorce. Then there are divorce papers. She's your ex-wife. Then she's your current wife, divorcing you. I have no idea what the situation is and I'm not sure you do, either.

As I said - if you file in bankruptcy and there are joint assets as well as joint debts she could forfeit her share of the assets and be responsible for the entire debt.

What she "should" and "shouldn't" do at this point is for the Court to decide. If you have the superior income, why "should" she be responsible for 50%.

You need to consult with an Attorney and you need to go back to Court - please read this sentence again.

Otherwise - I'm out, tired of the "okay, but what ifs ..."

jdeleon76 · Oct 2, 2010, 07:52 PM

My ex and I currently live in orange county, CA. She has been telling me that she plans to move back to san diego, ca with our kids. Our kids have been in school for the past three years. Our youngest (2yrs) is in her second year in Preschool, our 6 year old is in 1st grade, and our oldest is in 2nd grade. We have lived in the community for over 4 years. My parents, sisters and brothers also lives in the community and my kids are very close to my side of the family. How do I prevent her from moving and taking the kids? What can I do to prevent her from obtaining a move-out order? I currently have my visitations on Sunday @ 9AM to Tuesday. I want more time with my kids, and by her wanting to move to san diego with the kids will pose more difficulties on my visitation and making it even more difficult to obtain more time with my kids.

ScottGem · Oct 2, 2010, 08:15 PM

Is the visitation court ordered? If her move will interfere with the exercise of your visitation and you have been exercising it, its not likely she will get permission from the court to move.

If she doesn't get court approval and moves without you can have her cited for contempt. If you have any proof she plns to move you can go to court for an injunction to prevent it.

jdeleon76 · Oct 2, 2010, 11:30 PM

Ex served me with a temporary restraining order, she made accusations of DV. Went to court with my attorney and my attorney managed to get ex to drop the TRO and was able to get ex to mediate or stipulate. We have an agreed visitation schedule and child support amount. Because of the TRO I was court ordered to move out of our apartment... and with the stipulations I am no longer able to go back to the residence. Ex is currently living in the apartment with our 3 kids. She has recently informed me that she cannot manage financially on her own even with the child support payments I have been giving. She currently works full time @15.00 per hour. Ex has stated that she feels more secure if she were to move back home to san diego with parents than staying at her current location with the kids. My 2 boys (especially my oldest son) has been telling me repeatedly that they want to live with me an not there mother. My kids are very close to my brother and sisters kids.

ScottGem · Oct 3, 2010, 04:37 AM

Originally Posted by jdeleon76

Ex served me with a temporary restraining order, she made accusations of DV.

I thought this story sounded familiar. Checking I found that we had gone through this a few weeks ago. The answers do not change. You were told at that point not to start new threads with the same question. Had you added to your original thread I wouldn't have had to waste my time asking for more information.

The bottom line is we can't predict what a court will do. But there seems to be enough reasons not to grant the move.

Have you tried finding her less expensive lodgings as was suggested? Have you done ANY of the things that were suggested?