[Enigma1999]

At what point did you tell your wife you're not interested in playing the game and like to tell it as it is - "as it is" meaning that you prefer large women?

Oh, wait, it appears you haven't.

Thank God you stepped in!:D

He's just trying to justify any which way. He can't admit that this is HIS problem.

[loverob]

Absolutely this is my problem and at this point I don't intend to make it my families problem. By the way my wife knows. I haven't hidden anything from her yet. I also know what she likes too.
Try this. What say I realized that I was gay ( not that there's anything wrong with that) and felt my needs were not being met. Just a physical thing? Might be, might not. Should I still stick with the status quo?

[Cat1864]

Try this. What say I realized that I was gay ( not that there's anything wrong with that) and felt my needs were not being met. Just a physical thing? Might be, might not. Should I still stick with the status quo?

Having issues with your wife's dimensions is not the same as only being attracted (mentally, physically, and emotionally) to someone of the same sex. Being gay/homosexual is more than just physical. Your desire is purely physical and can be controlled.

What is your real question? Is it about handling your desires so that they don't interfere with your wife and family or was it looking for permission to leave your wife to satisfy a physical 'want'?

[CravenMorhead]

Absolutely this is my problem and at this point I don't intend to make it my families problem. By the way my wife knows. I haven't hidden anything from her yet. I also know what she likes too.
Try this. What say I realized that I was gay ( not that there's anything wrong with that) and felt my needs were not being met. Just a physical thing? Might be, might not. Should I still stick with the status quo?

This is a volunteer driven site. I am not really all that driven to volunteer my time to answer your question.

This is a an issue that you need to bring up with your wife. What will you two do? You two are talking about this already. As I said, it is never too late to make any choice.

The problem comes with dealing with the fall out from the choices. Right now you are too focused on the prize and not enough on will happen if you follow through.

You can do whatever you want. I think all we want you to do is give this a second thought. Maybe it is the right choice. Could be not. Think about this with the head on your shoulder and not in your pants.

I don't really have anything more to say to you.

[Jake2008]

Had to spread the rep, but I agree Craven.

This issue of comparing the justification of living with being gay, in a heterosexual marriage, is different, vastly different, than dreaming about being with a large woman.

The former involves sexual identity, the latter involves preference. Being gay does not allow for sexual preference, gay is gay. It is not a choice; being with another woman while you are married, is a choice.

You, not being gay, but being a straight male, and being married, trying to have your desire to be with another woman (large or not), justified, just can't happen.

Large women are people too. What if her 'largeness' appeals to you, but she has the intelligence of a flea, or she is large, but is far superior to you intellectually, and finds your attraction to her largeness only, as an insult to her intelligence.

What makes you think that a large woman, or a small woman, or a woman somewhere between is to be judge simply by her body shape? That is what is meant by you being superficical.

The package you fell in love with, and married, was your choice, and as such, you must have overlooked her lack of girth, for many other qualities that appealed to you. I hope you don't see her as not deserving of love and affection, because you do not find her physically attractive. Or that you wish she looked different, or you put her down because she is not your body type preference.

You are not being short changed here. But every woman you judge by their size, is an insult to every woman.

Size, or lack of it, in your case, means only a fantasy woman in your head, that somehow, because of her body type, will make you a happier person, because she is a 'different type' of woman. She is not. She is a woman, who is large, and you really sell all of us women short by being so shallow in your categorization of the species.

Really, can you not just be happy for what you have?

[Enigma1999]

Your analogy is way off. You can't even compare the two. Nice try though, loverob. So if your wife knows, then why are you asking us? You should be asking her. Again, this is your problem. I feel sorry for her.

[loverob]

Oh how judgmental.
Physical is generally the spark no? Mental and emotional come with time. I'm sure that some of the best relationships are the opposite or don't even involve the physical. That sure isn't me, a deeper long lasting connection also requires a strong physical connection for me.
At 35 I jumped the gun and married a beautiful great person. That does not mean that we have that great something. We are both good at being good. Life goes on as if we don't consider options.

[beachloverjohn]

Great reply guys, good to see the high and mighty alive and strong. I'm also pleased to see that your marriages are all so perfect. I hope you all do as much of the child and house work as I do.
Yes the question is shallow, it was meant to be as I am merely male. Remember that there are two sides to every marriage. Your reply's do help though to keep things in perspective.

I do hope too that any "larger" "women" who read the question realize that there are men out there, shallow as we are, that love you the way you are "physically" and wouldn't want you any other way.

That is good to know. And to any really tall, or very short, or skinny, or any other less than perfect females, remember there are men out there that also want you the way you are. Just make sure these men Aren't married

Loverob, I have a feeling there is a little more to this than you are saying. Maybe there already is someone that you have in mind? Maybe you just don't love your wife. Maybe your wife doesn't love you. I don't know, but if this is how you feel, then you should tell it like it is. How do you think your wife would feel if she read what you are writing on this site. She is a human being too. You talk about her as if she was an old pair of shoes. Well consider this before you make what could be the biggest mistake of your life. You may want a new pair of shoes, but you might not find a pair that is as comfortable as the old pair. So before throwing them out, try walking in them and see how they feel.

[beachloverjohn]

Oh how judgmental.
Physical is generally the spark no? Mental and emotional come with time. I'm sure that some of the best relationships are the opposite or don't even involve the physical. That sure aint me, a deeper long lasting connection also requires a strong physical connection for me.
At 35 I jumped the gun and married a beautiful great person. That does not mean that we have that great something. We are both good at being good. Life goes on as if we don't consider options.

I do agree that you are shallow. That is what you are saying. Some people trade in their car every 2 years. Just let her know that her lease is up. It's the right thing to do.

[Enigma1999]

I agree John, had to spread the rep. I guess that's where got confused, because Loverob tells me that some men don't play "the game" and tell it how it is, however, not telling his own wife how it is. I also agree that there is more to this then he is sharing.

[loverob]

Ha ha, you guys are funny. Perfectly funny. There is a flaw though that will become apparent later in life. It does for most as nature takes it's course and reality sets in.
What was that about Ashton and Demi. Oh I'm not young myself but I love older women too.

[Enigma1999]

Ha ha, you guys are funny. Perfectly funny. There is a flaw though that will become apparent later in life. It does for most as nature takes it's course and reality sets in.
What was that about Ashton and Demi. Oh I'm not young myself but I love older women too.

Well what do you expect us to say? On one hand, you're telling us that you married a beautiful woman that makes you happy, and on the other, it's not enough for you. If you are expecting any of us to tell you, "Yeah, like totally leave your happy, beautiful wife who carried and raised your children, to live out your dream." I'm sorry, you're not going to get that from us.

As far as Ashton and Demi, they were not married to anyone else at the time to live out some kind of dream. That's the diff between them and you. You are married, they weren't. Also, it sounds as if you're married to a nice woman.

[CravenMorhead]

The more I read here the more I am uncertain that we aren't dealing with a troll. The general premise of the question is off and he is rebuking any and all advise that is being proffered. Honestly it looks like he is just trying to push our buttons to get an reaction.

I don't really think we should put anymore effort into this thread. At least I won't.

[beachloverjohn]

Enigma I think what he's referring to is that Ashton is rumored to be hooking up with a younger woman. So I guess that makes it all right. I could give loverboy ten other examples of men leaving their wives for another woman. But then I can also give the late great Paul Newman as an example of a man staying with his wife his whole life. Rob, you came on this site asking a very simple question. Is it too late to love a larger woman? None of us have the right to tell you how to live your life. But you did ask this question which is inviting opinions. But if you want a straight answer. Them I will give it to you. Yes it's too late. You made a choice to get married to your beautiful, slim wife, now you have to pay the price of staying with this marred woman. Oh, the humanity.

[Enigma1999]

Enigma I think what he's referring to is that Ashton is rumored to be hooking up with a younger woman. So I guess that makes it alright. I could give loverboy ten other examples of men leaving their wives for another woman. But then I can also give the late great Paul Newman as an example of a man staying with his wife his whole life. Rob, you came on this site asking a very simple question. Is it too late to love a larger woman? None of us have the right to tell you how to live your life. But you did ask this question which is inviting opinions. But if you want a straight answer. Them I will give it to you. Yes it's too late. You made a choice to get married to your beautiful, slim wife, now you have to pay the price of staying with this marred woman. Oh, the humanity.

Again though, he is trying to use other examples to justify is own actions, to make himself feel better.

Loverob, I'm going to ask you this question, Do YOU think it's too late for you to live out your dream of loving large women?

[loverob]

I'll go back under the bridge now.
Don't think you know more than you do.

[Enigma1999]

I'll go back under the bridge now.
Don't think you know more than you do.

I hope you find happiness.

Sorry I wasn't much help for you.

I wish you luck.

[beachloverjohn]

I hope you find happiness.

Sorry I wasn't much help for you.

I wish you luck.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You did help him. We all did.. We were a much needed source of amusement for him, so hopefully we brightened up his life and alleviated some of his boredom.

[JudyKayTee]

Right, and he DID admit he's a troll who lives under a bridge.

[excon]

Hello:

I used to love big women... But, since my last one told me I never actually entered her - it was in one of her wrinkles - I've switched...

excon