[lazlotlomax]

Help my 16 year old daughter has a 3 time loser boyfriend. The first time she broke up with him because he was tryign to force her to have sex, the second time she broke up when I caught her emailing nude pictures to him. I called the plice etc... and she said she was done with him even after he admitted sharing the photos with his friends.

Now she is back with him and I need some help. What I really need is someone that has a yound daughter than can talk to him on my space and get him to try and date her or something. I want to open the door for him to cheat and then show her the facts because that one thing she has said she could never forgive.

I was thinking about creating a profil of a young girl and seeing if he hits on her and then dump the eivdence in her lap. This boy is pure scum I really need some advice.

[Babyboy8983]

I know I'm not the kind of person your looking for but we all use to be that age a one point, and all know how kids that age act, you must let her make these mistakes so she can learn from them, if you keep trying to break them up it may drive her to be with him even more just out of spite, oh and creating a myspace girl would just be a bad thing, if she found out it was you that was hitting on her boyfriend trying to get him to cheat on her she would hate you for, just relax and let her be with him, don't let him like beat her or anything, but sooner or later she will grow tired of his crap and relizes she deserves better than him

[Cheery Cherry]

Creating a false myspace page is not a good idea. It has a potential to backfire. You cannot control the actions of other people and a guy like him will always be around to lure an inexperienced, self-doubting girl that may be looking for love in all the wrong places.

Your best bet is to talk with your daughter openly and find out, without getting upset or judging, why she finds him so attractive or worthy of her time and energy. Build your daughter's self-confidence by connecting with her and making her feel good about herself. Sign up for something that you can do with her on a regular basis that may affect her positively and that you both will enjoy. That way, she spends less time with him and more time finding out about herself and how it feels to have a healthy relationship that she will eventually seek with her life partner.

You do not mention her Father but it would help if there is an active Dad or Father-figure in her life regularly.

[gobe]

If you think about set him up is the worst idea, How would you feel if somebody would set you up it is not the right way to deal with the problems, not to mention you can loose your daughter believing in you for ever. Bad idea!
Don't put energy in to trying to break they relationship put more energy into your relationship with your daughter. Learn to listen not to advise. Sooner or leather if she will trust you she will ask for your opinion but if you push she will close the door before you.

[CakeLady]

Sorry to be the harda$$ here, but who is the parent and who is the child? BE THE PARENT.

If you don't want her to do something, stop her from doing it. If this boy is bad for her, simply sit her down with your spouse/partner and have a heart-to-heart. Let her know why you feel the way you do, and what might happen circumstance wise if she continues to see him. That's the first step, second step being if she refuses to obey and see your side of things---take things from her (freedom, phones, computer, money, etc.) in increments, first this, then that---until she sees the light.

Parenting and tough guidance aren't easy, but at this formative age, you're dealing with quite a few more issues these days than in days of past. Kids these days are more aggressive, act out in ways we'd never have thought of, and in that light---parenting is harder. So be it. Nobody told us this road was going to be easy---but doing right by your daughter now will be paid back in volume later.

Don't back down on this thing. If you feel this boy is wrong for her---take action now to stop it. That is your only option unless you are willing to live for the next few years into her adulthood with no control at all. She's testing your boundaries right now as well as he is.

Show her who's boss. End of story.

[gobe]

Everybody think different, personally I went throw in my teen years something like this, I was seeing him secretly not to mention we had a family get together I was begging him to come with me just to show my father... lots of stupid things, other hand my mom never was, against'' him (and I know in my hart that she knows that he is not for me,) she was nice to him and she was smart and she was a good listener. I heated her for that that I don't know what she thinks about him, than one day she asked me, what about your girlfriends opinions about him. And that's was a weak up call. All my girlfriends where saying that he is an A.s... God bless my mom (my parents dyed young) she was a smart women!!

[GirlWSlingshot]

She is sixteen years old. You have two more years until everything she does is completely beyond your control. You need to step up and be the mother.

I strongly suggest military school or at least a program like Young Marines. It can teach her a sense of discipline and self respect. It is obvious from the fact that she keeps going back to this boy that she has extremely low self esteem and very little respect for herself. It is your job to try to fix that in the next two years.

Time to put your foot down mom. Don't mess around with myspace and put yourself on the level of a teenager. You're an adult and her mother. Show her that. No more seeing or talking to this boy. No internet, no cell phone.

Also, is he an adult? Because if so, you need to speak to the police about pressing charges for statutory rape and anything else they can throw at him. Get a restraining order if you can.

[feelingdown21]

These hard answer solutions are a great but I've done the "don't mess around" and take control and it doesn't work. When we took things away and become harder, my daughter just didn't come home at all. The problem is other parents take children in them in and it has been hell. The system, the police, the crisis center, the adolescence center, family and children services, counselling... done it all except for me jumping over the falls! I can see it working if the child has the personality but I guess sometimes apple is the apple and the tree is the tree and has nothing to do with falling it doesn't fall far from the tree! My child upbringing was good and she has always been loving, open and a great person but friends and making new friends has caused things to go "west". Parents from good neighbourhoods providing beer and alcohol?! I wish taking the tough approach worked but in my case isn't. Recently, police involvement seemed it may have worked so I tried to be there, involve myself more and do the little extra and even take and pick up from school and take her and "mister moron" keeps trying to contact and now she is back and I cancelled cell phone, bank as the reprocussion and now no contact. She will now not speak at all and where is she? His mother took her in and word is the mother, brother and boyfriend are involved with drugs so... and by the way... police don't give restraining orders!