[LittleBlackKat]

Hello, I am 19 going on 20 and I've been having problems knowing if I have my hymen or not.
First off, I have NEVER had sexual intercourse. Never. I have also heard that if you insert a tampon incorrectly inside your vagina you can risk tearing your hymen, and if you ride a bike and do not wear proper seat padding, and engage in heavy duty sports that can also tear the hymen. However, I have done none of the above. I have never worn a tampon, I don't ride bikes often, the last time I rode a bike was 2 years ago, and I ALWAYS have gel padding in the seat. And I'm not a big sports person either.
However, all that being said, I aso know there are self examinations that you can do, i.e. grabbing a small hand mirror and checking if you have your hymen, and when I did that examination, all I saw was just pink flesh past the vaginal lips. I didn't see the 'mucus' hymen anywhere.
Please, can someone tell me if I am looking incorrectly, or is there something else wrong with me? Because I don't see a dark hole or anything, I just see flesh inside.
Sorry to gross anyone out.
Thanks for your time.

[Wondergirl]

It's very possible you lost it when you were six or ten or never had much of one in the first place. (They're not all the same size and thickness and appearance.)

Why are you "having problems" with this? Is this important to you for religious reasons?

If you were searching for something very important such as your tongue or your stomach that was missing or not evident and the lack of it was causing problems, I too would worry and wonder. If you know you haven't had sexual intercourse, then you are a virgin, hymen or not.

[Wondergirl]

Just everyday running and playing and going down the slide and being a young girl can break a girl's hymen, especially if it's small and thin to begin with.

I still don't understand why this is a concern for you.

[Synnen]

Yeah, well... welcome to the unfairness of being female.

Hymens DO tear for innocent reasons like running, biking, playing, etc.

Have you had a pap smear? If so, you've got no hymen.

[LittleBlackKat]

Nope, never had a pap smear.

[Wondergirl]

You are intact. You are a virgin. Are you planning on producing bloody sheets on your wedding night?

I did whatever I could to stretch myself and get rid of my hymen before my wedding night. I didn't want that kind of pain or problem or distress to mar a special, spiritually uplifting time.

[Cat1864]

LittleBlackKat : I wouldn't do that, my mother and grandmother keep saying that if my hymen isn't there, I am not a virgin

You're mother and grandmother are using outdated information and ideas.

You are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse. Hymen or no hymen.

Discovery Health "Hymen"

Did you know some women are born without hymens? Does that mean even before they were born they weren't virgins?

Did you know some women have to have their hymens surgically removed before they give birth? Does that mean they were virgins up until that surgery?

[LittleBlackKat]

Well I also heard that when your hymen tears you will bleed, and I never bled when playing or riding a bike. If that were the case, then I think millions of little girls EVERYWHERE would not have hymens because most kids are active and run around.

[Synnen]

Not all women bleed when they lose their hymen.

And PLEASE use the "answer this question" box to respond instead of the comments feature.