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Felicia2010 · Sep 17, 2010, 07:12 AM

I loaned a friend a couple of cell phones with chargers and he activated them for his phone number. Now he's refusing to return the phones and ignoring my messages. How can I get them back? The phone provider should be able to verify that I purchased them. If I can't get them back, is there a way to get them disabled? There are pictures on the phones that I would really like to get back.

smoothy · Sep 17, 2010, 07:20 AM

Problem is the service is in his name... and while you may be able to prove you bought them originally, that doesn't mean you couldn't have resold them since. And that is the key factor.

You are basically SOL on this.

Why would you loan a phone for someone to activate etc? Much less several?

Loaning a screwdriver... flashlight, I can understand, but loaning several cell phones that aren't activated? What did you think he was going to do with them? Its enough of a PITA to activate a phone they aren't going to do it for just days much less weeks or months.

Also, shows a need to pick who you call friends a lot more carefully. He doesn't sound like anyone I would have called a friend. And to get a signed paper detailing any loans etc that you would really care if you ever got back in the future.

Absent any papers to prove you either bought them and prove you neither gave or sold them to him or that he agreed to a loan, it would be upon YOU to prove everything in court. And the burden of proof is on you, as you are the one who would be making the accusations. He actually isn't required to prove anything.

Felicia2010 · Sep 17, 2010, 12:51 PM

Well, the loan(s) were meant to be temporary, until he was eligible for his next "free" phone, but you're right, I'm SOL unless he decides to do the right thing.

smoothy · Sep 17, 2010, 01:07 PM

Yes, problem is I know that, YOU know that... but being able to prove that to a judge is another thing absent a written agreement.

And in court, even small claims court. Winning has a great deal with what you are able to prove.

We all learn lessons like this. (trust me I have the hard way too).. unless you get a written agreement, don't loan something out you actually expect or NEED to get back.

Felicia2010 · Sep 17, 2010, 05:11 PM

Thank you Smoothy, I'll try to be more careful in picking my friends. Problem is, sometimes you don't know they aren't your friend until you cross them! I don't want to be suspicious of everyone, but I guess that in today's world I'll always have to take steps to protect myself. If I had thought to download my pictures before the phone loan, I wouldn't be so upset now. Now, he has little slices of my life that I want back! However, you have a clearer head than mine, and I appreciate your input! Makes me cringe about the tax bill I (temporarily) (?) covered for another friend. "Sucker" must be written on my forehead!

smoothy · Sep 17, 2010, 05:22 PM

Look at it this way... you have learned from these bad experiences, right?

Trust me... you really need to get burned a few times before you learn to read people about who might and might not burn you.

NEVER cosign a loan for ANYONE. And like I said... never loan more than you are willing to just give them. People that are quick to ask for money are always the least likely to be as quick to return it, IF they return it at all.

Call that 30+ years of observations since I graduated.

Easier to say you can't because you have a lot of bills to pay and don't debate with them at all further... than it is to try to get it back from them. That's not cheap, or selfish... its prudent and wise.

We like to call that having attended the School of hard knocks.

Felicia2010 · Sep 17, 2010, 05:39 PM

Thank you Smoothy, I did learn my lesson, and will try to pick my friends more carefully. Problem is, they often don't turn against you until you require something of them! Even if it's your own stuff back! Anyway, I appreciate your help, and wish I had consulted this site before I loaned another friend money to cover her tax bill! A LOT more expensive than cell phones! Guess I have "sucker" printed on my forehead! Oh well, live and learn, right??

smoothy · Sep 17, 2010, 06:41 PM

Oh, trust me... Thats EXACTLY how I learned MY lesson over 20 years ago. This is on eof thos elife lessons you HAVE to learn the hard way I suppose.

Simple rule of thumb is people that are always borrowing things are people that can't budget or plan, and won't have it to give back for the very same reasons they borrowed it in the first place.

There is a rule of thumb... Friends, family and money don't mix well. (you can substitute anything of value in place of money)

twinkiedooter · Sep 18, 2010, 08:52 PM

Felicia consider yourself lucky in that you didn't get stuck with a HUGE cell phone bill! I "helped" a boyfriend get a nice clam shell cell phone a few years ago with the "promise" that he'd pay his share of the bill. Yeah, sure. I got stuck with a huge cell bill courtesy of him and had to terminate my service. The final "bill" including early termination and "free clam shell phone" for him was $1,000. Naturally he paid zero. How nice of him.

The photos are gone. You should download your photos right away so you don't lose them.