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rusrssty · Sep 17, 2010, 05:47 AM

Hi All
I have made a mess of my life, well here goes
I left my wife (divorced now) 4 years ago, I loved her very much but she did not me as I thought, I eventually moved on with my life and met a beautiful woman whom I felt I could spend the rest of my life with, we where together about six months when I moved in with her and her kids, things where great never agued was really loved up then my ex wife came back after me, so I made a silly excuse and just left the GF, it turned out the ex wife was just playing me, so I was left on my own for about 6 mouths, when my ex girlfriend spotted me on a dating site and started talking to me, we met up and she told me how much she missed me and loved me, I moved back in with her, after another six moths my ex told her I had slept with her, so we yet again split up (wonder why) . Then another six months passed, I was missing my GF so much I now know at this point I was madly in love with her, but I stayed away and did not contact her, then I got a text out of the blue about nothing, I text back couple of days later the next morning really early she phoned and asked how I was just small talk. Week later she phoned again asking if she could come and see me, I said yes. She came over and all the feelings came flooding back we know we were meant to be, I moved in with her again and we both told each other everything about how we felt, as you can imaged she was very wary of my ex wife (I have children with her). I know she wanted to marry me so I asked and she said yes. A month ago the ex wife played up about times when we had my kids, I over reacted had an argument with GF about kids, I said hers where lazy and shouted up the stars that I don't care if they hear me. She immediately told me we are finished, I left that night, over the next couple of days said sorry, wrote letters, told her how much I love her etc, she ignored me to this day. Do you think there is any hope she will come back to me?

icalltheshot · Sep 17, 2010, 05:58 AM

My advice to you is leave her alone. If she wants you back she'll let you know. You already said you're sorry. Nothing else to be done but move on and enjoy life.

rusrssty · Sep 17, 2010, 06:01 AM

I know I should, but this time I know she is the one,I have been so stupid, I know she loves me, just don't want her to through it away. Thanks

talaniman · Sep 17, 2010, 06:13 AM

I hope she doesn't, I really do, until you have taken the time to unpack your past baggage, so you can have a healthy relationship, and not these break up, make up drama sessions.

Come on guy, how many times can you go back, and get kicked out to know that something is wrong with this picture. Doesn't seem the two of you work well together because maybe one of you isn't ready, or able, or willing to make the right adjustments, or take the right actions.

Break the bad cycle by leaving her alone.

icalltheshot · Sep 17, 2010, 06:18 AM

I know you want her back. I broke up with my ex ten months ago as well and I made contact with her last month. When we met, all the feeling came flooding back. In my case, she said she still love me but her priority has changed and doesn't have time. I told her then it will not work and I'll move on. What else can I do? Beg? Begging is not attractive and make you look desperate and the ball is in her court which mean whatever problem you have you can't solve them and you'll be back to where you are now. So it's best to leave her and if she want you enough she'll contact you like she did before.

rusrssty · Sep 17, 2010, 06:57 AM

That is the problem, we work great together, its just the ex wife, GF can not get over, I have tried to explain to GF there is no threat from her, and since split all of my problems have been sorted out so I have a clear run at life.

rusrssty · Sep 17, 2010, 06:59 AM

Hope she does come back, Good luck to you, sounds like she will be back for you

answerme_tender · Sep 17, 2010, 07:15 AM

I hope you have finally-really--really made your choice between these two woman. I mean aren't you getting back aches from all the flipping you have done between them!! Maybe, and I just saying maybe you might want to live on YOUR OWN and get your life together first. Once you have removed yourself from all this drama, and can your head together then and only then will you be able to show a woman that you have a STABLE life to share. Work on you first, prove to yourself what your have!! ---Good luck

rusrssty · Sep 17, 2010, 07:25 AM

Your right, but I want my GF as I know she is the one, I have been out with loads of girls before my ex wife, so I know what I want and feel

88sunflower · Sep 17, 2010, 07:25 AM

How can your girlfriend think there is no threat from your ex when you left her once to go back? Its been a rocky road from the start. Back and forth. I don't think you know what you want. Its probably best to get yourself together and in a stable frame of mind before you bother dating anyone again. It was so wishy washy from the start I don't blame her for not wanting you back. Take time for you. Make sure your head is clear. Then just start fresh.

You might also want to have a talk with your ex about not meddling in your life. It seemed as though she left you alone until you had someone else. Then she interfered. That should also be ironed out before it happens again.

Shadowburn · Sep 17, 2010, 07:35 AM

If I were her, I wouldn't be back. You're undecided on who you want to be with, and it's unfair to her and unhealthy for the kids. You had no right to yell and call them lazy either, you're not their father and they don't need an unstable man in their mom's life.

Sorry if it sounded harsh, that's just woman's perspective.

talaniman · Sep 17, 2010, 08:48 AM

It would help a lot if you could learn to use the comment button correctly, and post on the thread and not to the poster.

beachloverjohn · Sep 17, 2010, 08:55 AM

You are in the classic case of the "triangle" . One one side is the girlfriend you are madly in love with.

On the second side is the ex wife that you loved, the mother of your children, does not know if she wants you back or notbut she does not want to see you with another woman. So she interferes and plays with your feelings.

Third side is poor you who has these two women fighting over him.

Ok, here's the problem. You have gone back and forth too many times, you have caused your girlfriend to have doubts about you, and lose trust in you, and your ex wife doesn't really love you but she is good at pushing the right buttons. We know you should have never left your girlfriend in the first place, but you did and she took you back.

You are divorced, so your contact with your wife should only concern things related to the kids.

You love your girlfriend, but you have burnt her too many times and she may not believe you can stick to staying away from your ex anymore. She also witnessed an ugly side directed at her kids, {a very big blunder}. Maybe you're not the man for her after all.

You wife and you are unable to reconcile as you already proven in the past.

Result, you will end up all alone. Completely alone. This is probably where you should be at this time, and you have no one to blame but yourself. I think it is over . But get a place on neutral territory, stay away from the wife, and the girlfriend, and it might really be crystal clear who you really do love and want to be with. And maybe someday you can convince that woman {probably girlfriend} you have changed. In the meantime, consider yourself single again.