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    Jennysmith22's Avatar
    Jennysmith22 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 16, 2010, 10:21 AM
    Is there a chance of getting back with a first love?
    I don't know what to do! Its been 7 months since me and my first broke up, and it was over a silly thing, ), : we were together for a year, and obviously regrett breaking up with him. Now's I see him, he's so near yet still so far away ):
    I thought id get over him but obviously not because I've recently been dating someone and all I think about his Lukas when I hug/kiss this guy, its so upsetting.
    Now people can see that I still have feelings for him and telling to go get him back but I feel stupid going back when I've done it before and got rejected face to face.
    One of my friends at school today saw him Friday night, she was saying about its obvious he still likes you and I'm like why? She said cause he asked if you were out that night and I said no and he was like ooh OK.
    He sometimes comments on my wall then deletes it lol but I can see what he's put, like 2 months ago he admitted he was still sexually attracted to me and stuff, when I'm at school he says hi to my friends in front of me but not me! He just looks at me and sometimes smiles. Omg I love him so much, and miss him, I don't know what to do, I have a year left till I could never see him again ): Do you think he still has feelings for me from what I said?

    Thanks if you can help
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #2

    Sep 16, 2010, 10:39 AM

    Sexual attraction and love are very different things. He's asking about you because he probably misses the sex.

    Check your hormones and stop trying to find excuses to go back.
    How old are you and this guy?
    Jennysmith22's Avatar
    Jennysmith22 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 16, 2010, 10:41 AM
    No, I can def tell you he doesn't miss me cause of the sex, we hardly did it anyway
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #4

    Sep 16, 2010, 10:59 AM

    I can't give a greenie out {won't let me}, but I would to balance that improper response{REd] from jennie. You asked for advice, and you got it. Good advice I might add. You both need to know a lot more about life before you worry about being in a serious relationship.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #5

    Sep 16, 2010, 11:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennysmith22 View Post
    no, i can def tell you he doesnt miss me cause of the sex, we hardly did it anyway
    It may not be what you're looking for , but it's my advice. Hardly doing doesn't count. The fact that you did it once, twice or twenty times tells what me he was in it for. I hope you have the good sense not to have sex with Lucas. If you do use protection.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Sep 16, 2010, 11:39 AM

    Your friends opinions don't matter, but they are fanning the flames of false hope. That first love is the hardest to accept when its over, and being broken up, and then rejected, its enough for two people who are obviously young, and inexperienced, but the biggest, most telling fact is that his actions to you directly are not of a guy in love but one who regrets he lost the sexual privilege you gave him. I think that you both feel the loss of being physically intimate with each other, and for that reason alone will it will take a lot longer to get over him.

    That's pretty normal to be that attached to a guy you have had sex with, especially your first one, and its worse when you have to see him often, and you have friends around who think they are doing you a favor by always speaking of him, or goading you both about the other. That's makes it hard, and unless you tell them to back off, and stop it, they will continue keeping your feelings fresh, raw, and stirred up. Their intentions are good, but the actions are bad.
    He sometimes comments on my wall then deletes it lol but I can see what he's put, like 2 months ago he admitted he was still sexually attracted to me and stuff, when I'm at school he says hi to my friends in front of me but not me! He just looks at me and sometimes smiles. Omg I love him so much, and miss him, I don't know what to do, I have a year left till I could never see him again )
    Sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but its what we all go through, and must learn to deal with, the loss of a loved one. It happens and will happen again, and to answer the original question, its up to him, as you have already tried your best, and it didn't work. That means NO, for now, unless he has a change in heart, without outside influence.
    Do you think he still has feelings for me from what I said
    I bet he would go for a romp in the sack though, no strings attached. But forget love, not happening. And the lust for him replaced the love or you would still be together. He wants you to chase him, and give it up, when he wants it, and that's lust, NOT love, and I am sure not the feelings you want him to have. Probably his real reason for breaking up with you, not enough sex, and that silly reason was a good excuse. Happens a lot with young guys that are ruled more by hormones than genuine feelings, sorry.

    I highly suggest you look forward, and not back.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    Sep 16, 2010, 02:22 PM

    You broke up for a reason and if he still wanted you, in 7 months time, he would have let you know. He has not!
    Get over the feelings of nostalgia and move on. It's over.

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