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rubberducky1210 · Sep 14, 2010, 05:10 AM

I have sole custody of my two children and their father hasn't been around for years he pops in and out(through the phone) every two years and my husband wants to adopt them does anyone know what I can do? He pays child support for 2 months then stops for a year or so then another two months but he won't sign over his rights. What can I leagely do to make him? He is a acholic and drug user and he hasn't ask to visit them either. Visitation is court order as I see fit. Any help is sooo apprecitated.

excon · Sep 14, 2010, 05:14 AM

Originally Posted by rubberducky1210

my husband wants to adopt them does anyone know what I can do?

Hello r:

Sure. Hire a lawyer and begin the adoption process. When it's run its course, only ONE parent will have rights.

excon

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2010, 07:30 AM

You will need to get his permission but it would seem like he would want to do so. As noted, you need an attorney to file the paperwork, so hire an attorney to prepare everything.

Synnen · Sep 14, 2010, 07:57 AM

I would like to point out that there are VERY good reasons for not being able to revoke someone ELSE'S parental rights without good reason.

How would you like it if HE could decide to take YOUR parental rights away because he doesn't like the way that YOU parent?

Prove that he is abusive or dangerous to your child, get a lawyer, and work toward an adoption.

Synnen · Sep 14, 2010, 06:36 PM

Rubberducky--he's paid child support. That's part of being a parent. He calls.

He may not be the BEST parent out there, but there are REASONS for the laws to be the way they are. If they weren't, a neighbor with a grudge could take away your kids. Your MOTHER could take away your kids. And believe me, there are enough people waiting to adopt that would have NO problem with people losing their kids--especially infants--because someone said "she/he doesn't parent right".

So--PROVE he doesn't parent. Get a lawyer. If you want him out of your lives so badly, start paying psychiatrists and child specialists and lawyers to PROVE that your husband would make a better parent, and that it would be in the children's best interests to have his parental rights removed.

But--just not liking him or his lifestyle isn't enough. You need to prove that he is BAD for your kids.

Sorry you had to disagree with me instead of explaining more of your story--but I *am* right on this. It would be EXTREMELY dangerous to set a precedence that someone could take away parental rights because they wanted to, and not because the other parent was a danger to the child(ren).

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2010, 06:40 PM

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Based on what YOU posted he does do something. Therefore Synnen's response was accurate.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 14, 2010, 06:52 PM

Sorry if you did not like the right and best answer, but the truth is, most likely you will not get to take his rights away, if he bothers to show up in court and fight to keep them.

You hire an attorney who will attempt to get him to merely sign his rights away, if not, you will have to go to court and prove it would be to the child's best interest to have his rights taken away.

In many states, merely not seeing the child is not an allowed reason, in many states, merely not paying support is not a reason,

You may not like it, but in many states, what you say he does not do, is bad, but not reasons allowed to take his rights away.

Proving drug use, may get you to restrict his visits to supervised but again not take rights away.

All you can do at this point is hire an attorney and try, But the odds will be against you if he does not merely agree to sign them over

Now of course had you been turning him over to child support enforcement, if you had been taking him back to court for contempt, perhaps had him put in jail a few times for non payment, he would have been a lot more agreeable to signing

rubberducky1210 · Sep 14, 2010, 07:58 PM

I took the advice of most of the comment I have spoken to a lawyer. Thank you for ALL the feed back even the one I didn't agree with but the facts are the facts.

ScottGem · Sep 15, 2010, 03:51 AM

Comments on this post
rubberducky1210 : though accurate I DON'T have to agree

No you don't have to agree. You can add a response to the thread expressing your disagreement. You just can't use the Comments feature to disagree based on opinion. That's not what it's there for.

As pointed out, you may disagree, but its not a matter of your opinion. It is up to what the law says. And the law is very reluctant to terminate parental rights.

What has your attorney advised?