[Fl_09]

This girl (17) I've been talking to has a ex who hates me, which I understand. But now her mom hates me because of him and I know he told her true things about me but left of a lot of details, like how I did dropped out of school but I'm going to college in 4 months, I smoked cigarettes but I'm quiting.. for this girl, and the car I have now looks like a piece of junk but I'm just waiting for my good car, there was title problems. And now her mom doesn't want her to see me, but we really want to be with each other but its hard with her mom. I see her when she's on break at work but I can't call or text her since her mom checks the phone bill and her mom knows we talk online. So I can't keep only seeing her when she's on break at work. How can I work things out with her mom so shell let us see each other, because we want her to approve of me but a lot of our friends parents really like me and I would smoke with parents or bring dinner and eat with them, so I don't think its me but I understand why her mom wouldn't like me. What should I do? Should I call her mom and ask to explain what my plans are for my future and let her get to know me and why her daughter likes me? Or any other ideas that was just one of mine but I'm not sure if its kind of sketchy or something

[Cat1864]

As much as I would like to tell you that you can try talking to her mother and working things out, I don't think it would get to the source of the issue.

It is your girlfriend's place to talk to her mother and get facts straightened out or set up a meeting between the two of you.

[Jake2008]

Are you the same age, or close in age to your girlfriend?

I'm not sure why her mother needs to have access to her daughters phone records, or monitor her computer use, but, something tells me that there were a lot of problems with her last boyfriend, as you said.

Maybe her mother is gunshy, and maybe this girl is not mature enough to be trusted, and maybe she's made too many mistakes and her mother feels she need to be protected. It is hard to be in the position you are in, because of her mother, but, who is to say that her mother wouldn't be the same with any new boyfriend.

It may have nothing to do with you personally is what I'm trying to say. It may have everything to do with being able to trust her daughter, because of, past behaviour with her ex boyfriend.

If that is the case, then it is, as cat so aptly said, a problem that exists between the two of them.

If she is mature, trustworthy, and honest with her mother, and her mother can trust her fully, there likely wouldn't be a problem.

If I were you, I wouldn't take it personally, but instead encourage her to work it out with her mother. And hopefully when that happens, her mother will see you as a good influence, rather than another bad one.

[justalone]

Hello , I have read your problem, and let me tell you something.
First of all , here in this website , people tell some opinions , I mean not all the time here in this website you will find the true solution, but we say opinions.

In my opinion , u have to talk with her mother to know why she hates you and what's wrong in your relationship.
And I think if she hates something in your personality or your character , and needs you to change it , I think it will not work, because even if you will try , u can't act all your life that you changed , or personality can't change easily.

For me , I think best thing is people like a person for his/her personality , and we don't have to be changed for people to accept us , its really good to improve yourself to be better and change some bad behaviors for example in our life.

But I hate the idea that I have to be like people want and change myself as they want.

[talaniman]

I don't know how long you have been together, but for now, just enjoy seeing your girlfriend when you can, and see what happens later, as its obvious the mom hasn't gotten over the break up with the other guy whom she liked yet. That happens sometimes, and you just have to be patient. I think your g/f will know when the time is right to make changes in the routine.